And we have roots like the trees | Closed to Summers House

[whattingawhat]

The house had shown up a few days prior and despite being wary, there was no way that Buffy wasn't moving in. It was her old house, the one she'd grown up in, the one she'd lost her mother in, the one that was supposed to be debris in the bottom of the Sunnydale Crater. Inside of it are all her mother's furnishings and art, things that Buffy had cherished as the parts of her mother that she had left. They were all things she'd had to leave behind when she'd left Sunnydale.

Perhaps it's a coincidence that Joyce's ghost shows up shortly after the house, shortly after Buffy and the others move in, but it doesn't feel like coincidence. It feels like purpose and it has Buffy rattled. She'd refused to talk to Joyce, aware that she's not real. She can't be real because that's something that Buffy still can't handle. Instead, she focuses on moving in. She doesn't have much from here because she hasn't been here that long, but she is moving many of the things from her old room to Joyce's room. Alcide is going to move into her old room and she's going to take over Joyce's room, which is totally perfect now that her mother is haunting her (not). Maybe that's why she's being haunted. Maybe she'll ask Dawn to try some sort of cleansing something or the other. She doesn't realize yet that anyone else can see Joyce (and she kind of hopes that Dawn can't see her because she doesn't want Dawn to be upset by it).

Eventually she'll end up locking herself in her mother's old room and talking to her ghost, but that's for later when Joyce wears her down, when she finally can't not speak to her mother. Right now, she's trying to distract herself, to keep busy, to focus on getting herself and everyone else moved in.

Comments

[the_dawnster]

Okay, see? It's good that she made herself stop long enough to let Spike get a word in. This way she's not the only one out on a limb. They can be out on that limb together, no matter how it ends up, no matter where they decide to go from here. She needs there to be a decision though, for her own peace of mind.

There's a certain amount of relief in knowing that Spike thinks that he and Buffy are just friends. It's what Buffy had said about Spike too. And wherever they end up, that's the beginning of laying a foundation for it.

"When I was younger I crushed on you so hard. Even when you and Buffy were doing your whole unhealthy thing... I still crushed on you. I feel like, it wasn't just that you were dangerous and mysterious to me back then. I think it was more primal on my part, like, the destruction of the key seeing all the imperfections of you - like and like." She says. "Then I turned all that off for awhile, after you sacrificed yourself for us at the Hellmouth. I hated thinking about you because it made me sad and angry and I missed you but I couldn't tell Buffy that."

She smirks. "Ramble much? Look I'm just putting it all out there because since you came back and have been with us I've crushed on you all over again, but with an acceptance that I had to keep my distance cause of Buffy. Then you weren't with Buffy anymore but you were still around and here we are."

Which leaves them with 'now what'. "I don't want to hurt or upset Buffy, but also I have these deep, longtime feelings for you... and the kissing was good if I didn't slobber all over you."

[badbadman]

He's glad he could make her feel a little better by being vulnerable. He hates being vulnerable--his entire appearance is a rebellion against that, but he's learning to be okay with it around Dawn. Whether he'll admit it or not, he'll feel a lot better about knowing what's between them as well.

"Aww, Bit," he says quietly. "I wasn't a very good guy back then." Sure, a part of him had known she had a crush on him, but it was a little girl thing, not something he ever thought she would carry into her adulthood. He listens to her ramble, reaching down to the ground where an ashtray sits to grind out his cigarette then straightens up again to listen to her.

"'Least I don't ever have to wonder where things sit with you." He'd never been sure with Buffy or Dru, for that matter. Dawn's feelings just tend to bubble up and come out in a ramble. He thinks he likes that. "First of all, 'm not going anywhere 'less one of you Summers women kick me out." He's learned long ago that he doesn't do well alone and he doesn't have any desire to go through life alone anymore.

Yeah, that 'now what' is important. "I think Big Sister has her own romantic rendezvous to worry about." Which leaves them in the free and clear. As for whether she slobbered on him or not, he'll answer that by reaching out to cup her face with one hand and leaning in to kiss her. He probably tastes like cigarettes and maybe if he'd realized this was where this conversation would go, he would have stopped smoking earlier or used some mouth wash. All of that seems incredibly unimportant, though, when he's kissing her.

[the_dawnster]

"You were good enough. You never hurt me. And you actually saw me, and listened to me. You got me in a way no one did back then. You didn't try to baby me or sugar coat things." Dawn, in many ways, feels as if she never really was a little girl. And when it boils right down to it, she wasn't. Her insides, psychologically speaking, have always been something of a dichotomy, always at war with themselves.

And even when Spike was 'not always good', he did still show a certain protectiveness of Dawn, even if it was all for Buffy back then. Dawn just can't equate pure evil with that fact.

That is one good things about Dawn. It's very rare that she tries to hide anything. And if she does, it's because she has a very good reason for doing so. Otherwise, she can be very transparent, almost overtly so. She is exactly what she seems and her thoughts do sort of bubble up out of her.

His hand touches her face and she gasps in a quick breath of air. This is what it's like to be alive, to feel alive and real in every way. It's a momentary realness and she knows that. But she'll revel in it while she feels it. This kiss is sweet, not quite as tentative as their first. Dawn feels as if it's over too quickly and she finds herself leaning in to chase after it. Another kiss, a mimic of the one before. "Really? We're going to try this? Us?"

[badbadman]

He chuckles a little. "Probably should have sugar coated things a bit for you," he says with a smirk. She's right though, she wasn't ever a little girl, but she'd been so young looking, so vulnerable, he couldn't help but be protective of her. It was him or maybe it was that the monks knew what they were doing when they created Dawn. It was never completely about Buffy. He would have protected Dawn then for the sake of protecting Dawn. The fact that it got him in good with Buffy was just another reason to do something he already wanted to do. He knows for sure that what he's starting to feel now for her doesn't have anything to do with the monks. They certainly wouldn't want him thinking the things he thinks about her now.

Spike was never terribly good at being evil without Angelus or Dru to egg him on. He sort of defaulted to a big bully who really just wanted to be left alone: live and let live...except for the people he made meals out of.

He likes that. He's had enough manipulation and half truths to last several lifetimes.

That gasp, somehow, makes him want her all the more; he wants to experiment with the other sorts of noises he can get out of her. That makes the kiss deeper, a little hungrier, but still sweet. Definitely not tentative, though it does make him break the kiss, pull back a bit, slow down. He clears his throat a little after the kiss, trying to focus on her question. "You're not just planning on traipsing down here to kiss me anytime you like without giving it a name, are you? That'll sully my reputation right quick," he teases her.

[the_dawnster]

Something about the both of them saying that they're in, all in, to whatever this is happening between them, makes the kiss feel like more. Spike deepens the kiss and Dawn lets him. She's kissed boys before, but something about it being Spike, the guy she's crushed on for so long, makes it feel... different, in a good way. It's just more... of everything.

When the kiss breaks, she's looking at him a new light, like he's hers, like there are endless possibilities and she's hopeful about them. She reaches up to brush her thumb over his bottom lip. "And only a tiny bit of slobber. I'm calling it a win."

She presses her own lips together and slides her tongue over them as if she can still taste Spike on them. She can't, but she likes to imagine she can. Then she smiles. "Definitely planning on kissing you anytime I feel like it. Down here. Upstairs. Cause blackout curtains are definitely happening."

As for giving it a name, whatever this is. "So we're dating? Is that too juvenile for you? I'm your girlfriend or...? What name do you want to give it?"

[badbadman]

Marking it, admitting to it, diving into whatever this is, is a pretty big deal. Spike doesn't give up on people easily. Commitment has never been a problem for him either in humanity or in his life as a vampire. That commitment does make the kiss seem like more, but it's also Dawn knowing that Spike is all in that makes this kiss so monumentous.

He can sense that feeling of possession about her and he finds he likes it. Spike has always wanted to be owned, to belong to someone. It's sexy in some way. The intimate, soft touch gets a surprised look out of him. Finally, the surprise turns to something slightly puzzled. "Kiss like that, Pet? Definitely a win."

There's no beating heart in his chest to quicken when she says that yet he feels it none the less. "Might cause a ruckus, y'know." Between her and Buffy. He's just guessing; he knows how protective Buffy is of Dawn and he doesn't blame her.

Her question makes him chuckle a little. "Rather I call you my lover?" he asks slyly. "That wouldn't be quite accurate, would it? I think girlfriend works well enough. I'm pracitcally modern now, Love."

[the_dawnster]

It's a huge deal, and it's serving to extend that feeling of being alive, of living, of realness for Dawn. It's an adrenaline rush in every sense of the word, only it's more than that, something that goes much deeper than the momentary, superficial feeling that comes with the ordinary rush of adrenaline. This is real.

She reaches for his hand, as if testing the waters, seeing how it feels to hold Spike's hand. Yes, she's held it before, but not as a couple, not as whatever it is that this is that makes them more than friends. His skin is cold but that doesn't bother her. Sometimes Dawn thinks her own skin is too hot, like the bright ball of energy she really is.

The word 'lover' makes her heart beat loudly and a chill of the best kind go down her spine. Dawn has had sex, yes. But it's never been the lover kind of sex. She isn't sure Xander was capable of that kind of sex. She knows that Spike is. And she knows that even now, she loves Spike... whether Spike loves her or not. This has been building for far longer for her than it has been for Spike.

"I like lover and girlfriend. Both. We can use both. Mostly I just want to be yours and for you to be mine. I mean, I'm not that great at sharing, except with Buffy sometimes but that would be... ew no. Bad mental images. So... yeah." She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head, then shrugs. "I used to imagine you and me as... whatever, a couple. And you would choose me and be protective of me, but not in a Buffy's sister way, but because I'm me and you saw me as me with none of the other stuff."

She hums and rolls her eyes. "I'm talking a lot."

[badbadman]

Spike will be happy to help her sustain that feeling and to remind her that she is real, as well as this relationship anytime she likes.

Right now, Dawn is driving this relationship, and she probably will for the life of the relationship. Spike knows he tends to get too serious, too soon. Dawn is so much younger and inexperienced that he wants her to feel like she's in charge of this. He wants her to dictate where this goes. When she takes his hand, he squeezes hers in return, his thumb sliding over the back of her hand. Her skin is hot to him and he can feel the thump of her pulse in the soft part of her hand. He likes the heat of her skin. likes the way that it heats up his own skin.

He can't see the chill, but he can hear her heart beat louder and it makes him smirk. There's a smugness to his expression; he's pleased at having caused a reaction in her. Spike would say that he's certain Xander isn't capable of that sort of thing, but he's not entirely sure he wants to think about that. Spike loves Dawn; he has since he met her practically, but this is a chance for that to grow into something more, something romantic. For the last few months, he's been thinking about Dawn in a more not-safe-for-work way than a little sister sort of way. He'll get there; she needn't worry about that. And as for sex, he'll let her drive when and how and where the same way he's letting her drive things in the relationship right now.

"Let's just stick with girlfriend 'round Big Sister. You'll get me staked otherwise." He shakes his head at the rest of Dawn's ramble. "Never did like sharing even when I had to do it. I'm a one woman sorta bloke." Spike frowns a bit at the last part. "I've never minded you talking, Bit and I've seen you for you for a long time now."