itinere | Closed | Come together right now

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Closed | Come together right now

President Cell Phone (he hates that nickname, but then...Jane so he doesn't much have room to talk) called a meeting. It's about time they properly saw Monmouth in and got this quest off the ground. Really, Gansey just wants to see all of his people in one place. He's still a bit unsettled about everyone's position in the city. Blue has moved into Monmouth, which Gansey likes, but it's also changed the dynamic of things, or at least he thinks that's what's changed the dynamic. Ronan has been by Monmouth and rattled through his room, taking stock Gansey thinks, but he hasn't stayed the night. It's not unusual for Ronan; there are nights back in Henreitta that his bed goes unslept in as well. Adam hasn't ever lived at Monmouth, but Gansey wants to give him one last offer and he wants to make certain that everyone knows they're welcome to stay here.

Not to mention the quest. He's not certain if it's the same quest to find Glendower or whether it's a different quest, to find a way out of here so they can return to the Glendower quest. Either way, it's something for Gansey to research, something for him to take notes on and something for him to occupy his time with. It's an important facet of Gansey. He's secretly (not so secretly) an obsessed individual that can easily fall into depression without something to focus on, something productive to obsess about.

In any case, meeting. Yes. There's pizza and Jane has cleaned up a bit. Gansey had to run her out of the main room because things are scattered just the way he likes. He's shuffling through papers on his desk and making notes, mint leaf between his teeth when everyone starts to arrive. He'll put that aside to mingle.

[Open to Ronan, Adam, Noah, Blue and Gansey. Mingle style. I'll probably do a formal 'let's get this meeting started' gansey thing further down. No particular posting order. Let me know if you want Ronan or Gansey in particular, otherwise...have fun? I just wanted TRC buds things]

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Adam's gaze snaps up to Noah and then quickly glances around the room at the others, silently begging Ronan to come help him. Except Ronan is busy with Gansey and Blue. Of course he is.

Then he looks back to Noah when he forces a smirk and whispers the word. "What? N-..." He stops short and looks down to his lap again, his heart thrumming in his ears. He shakes his head but even that is only half a movement, like the half a word.

Then Adam sets his pizza aside, pushes up, and plans to exit the building. He's out of at least the main room of Monmouth before anyone can stop him. He's not hungry anymore. Not sociable. Basically, he wants to go to that little cubbie hole at the Barns.

That seems to be a yes.

And for the first time, Noah wishes he were still a ghost, because one travels faster as a ghost. Now, he has to chase, even though he's not normally the one who chases. He's the one who disappears and reappears when he is needed or wanted.

Now, apparently, he's good at hurting people, except that he didn't mean to.

He's not used to running, and he gets breathless pretty quick, calling after Adam, "wait. Adam. Please."

Maybe because he felt something for Whelk, even when Whelk stole his girlfriend, even when he knew that he meant very little to Whelk at all, beyond being a sacrifice. "Don't run. Please."

Adam, however, is thankful Noah isn't a ghost. Before, that would have been because it meant Noah is no longer dead and can do things that living people do, like eat saltine crackers and breathe. Simple things. Now it's because he gets pretty far, all the way to the outside, and Noah can't appear in front of him to stop him.

Small miracles.

He wants to keep going, his run morphing into a brisk walk once he's outside. But then he hears how breathless Noah's voice is and he turns back to look at him. Ronan's best friend. He doesn't want to ruin anything between Noah and Ronan. He doesn't want to...

"What?" The word comes out as an angry bark.

"I don't understand," Noah says, resting his hands on his knees. Really, he shouldn't be so breathless, but the stairs are high and the building is big.

"Why you're running. I was right, wasn't I? Is that why you ran?"

It's so strange to see Noah in an kind of anything other than his usual ghostly presence that Adam comes back closer, more concerned for him that anything else.

"You alright?" He asks. Not answering the question posed to him. "You should go back inside."

"I'm just - " Standing upright, Noah pats his chest as he catches his breath. "I'm fine. I need to ... " get in better shape, apparently.

"Why are you so nervous about anyone knowing?" he asks, holding up the sleeve of crackers again. "Why?"

"You need to go back inside." Adam finishes that statement for him, even though he knows all too well that that isn't what Noah intended to say and even has an idea of what Noah was going to to actually say.

Still he doesn't answer any questions. Isn't it obvious why he's nervous about anyone knowing... if there was anything to know? It took forever for Adam to accept that his sexual orientation might be different than he thought it was. And that was to Ronan himself, the object of his orientation questions.

To the rest? Somehow that seems even harder a thing to voice. "Why do you think you know anything?" He asks, some of the anger out of his voice.

There's a pause before Noah answers, because really, he expects Adam to know the answer already. Noah may be alive, but otherwise, he's pretty much the same as he was before. He watches things. He sees.

"What does the 'L' mean if it doesn't mean Lynch?" he asks. His face is open, he shrugs a little bit.

According to Ronan, Ronan has had a crush on Adam for a long time. Adam didn't know. Maybe he suspected. It isn't beyond the realm of possibility for Noah to see it, to notice it.

"It's..." Adam lifts his wrist to look down at the bracelet Ronan had dreamed him for Christmas... his first Christmas gift in a long, long... LONG time.

"Don't think less of him, okay? It's just. We..." He bites down on the inside of his cheek. That's his admission. He's with Ronan Lynch.

Why would Noah think less of them? That question goes unasked out loud, but shows in the cock of his brows. That's almost a ridiculous idea. Noah pretty much worships Ronan anyway.

So, he asks another question in a whisper, "do you love him?"

What's it like, he wonders, to be loved?

The question makes him pause. He's the last person to ask about love. Does Adam Parrish even know what love is? Is he capable of feeling that? He'd grown up in a house where love was this warped version of the true act, violent and bruising a thing that was never safe.

He has this horrible fear that love, where he is concerned, would wind up being a Shakespearian tragedy. What if, someday, he became his father, lashing out at everything he loved? Or worse, like his mother, turning a blind eye and no influence whatsoever in regard to the things she loved, never really living or feeling anything?

"I don't know." He finally says, quietly as if divulging a secret. "I know it makes me feel good." When they're alone and it feels like Adam can breathe with his eyes open. When they're alone and he has moments where he quits trying to be everything he's not.

Good to Noah has been when the others fully accepted him for what he was, no questions asked. Even when they grieved for him when they realized that he was dead (he told them, after all).

"Then we should go back inside. Ronan will wonder where we went." Because he noticed. Ronan notices.

Noah is the one person who has never been frustrated with Adam. Which is a feat because Adam knows how frustrating he can be for any number of reasons. Noah never seems to expect more than what Adam can give, or begrudge him for what he can't give, or reject what he is capable of offering or judge him when he fails or makes mistakes. Adam doesn't understand why.

Right now he feels like he's been given some kind of gift that he doesn't deserve. Yes he accepts Noah as he is. But Noah is so easy to accept because of all the reasons stated above.

At mention of Ronan, Adam looks up to the windows of Monmouth. The lights on upstairs where the others are, where Ronan is. Noah is right. Ronan will notice he left.

To Noah, he has one request. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"As long as you make sure no one makes me eat pizza," Noah says, offering a small crooked smile.

As long as it seems like Adam and Ronan aren't fighting, he won't say a word.

"No one will make you eat pizza. But I bet there's Ramen." There's always Ramen in Monmouth. It's easy to make on a hot plate like the one in the kitchen/bathroom.

They start back toward Monmouth, walking this time instead of running. Sorry about that, Noah. Adam can be skittish sometimes. "Want me to make you some?"

"I'm okay," Noah tells him. He's got his crackers and he can have some peanut butter or something.

And he'll at least do more walking. Not so sure about the running.

"I'm glad, you know," he says when they're nearly inside. "For you guys."

It was almost a let down. Making Ramen would have given Adam something to do with his hands. As it was, he was already crawling out of his skin wondering if Ronan had used this opportunity, him out of the room, to tell Blue and Gansey about them.

He pauses just outside the main room at Noah's response. Adam, being Adam, is looking for the angle in Noah's accepting it so easily. Of course there isn't one. Adam is just not used to anything in his life being easy.

"Thanks." Thanks for being glad. Thanks for taking it so well. Thanks for keeping it a secret if it was still a secret. Thanks for not judging them. Just thanks.

Noah's smile is crooked and sincere.

Maybe he'll have something like that. He knows that Whelk was sleeping with his girlfriend before he died. He knows Whelk just used him. It's only with Gansey and the other - once Noah was dead - that he was accepted. Does he dare wish for more?

Noah isn't sure. He does know, though, that they should go back inside. "Ready?" he asks.

He's not the most optimistic individual to have ever existed. Wishing sounds like a futile effort to him. He's more about making things happen. Don't wish for more, Noah. Strive for more. You still might get let down, but at least you'll know you worked damn hard for it.

Adam takes a deep breath, briefly looking into Noah's eyes before nodding. "Yeah."

Yeah, working hard for things isn't something that Noah is so familiar with. Adam can help him with that.

In they go.

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Closed | Come together right now

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