itinere | open | so I keep doin' my own thing; walkin' tall against the rain

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{criminal minds: derek morgan

open | so I keep doin' my own thing; walkin' tall against the rain

Derek had somehow gotten away with not getting sick more than a headache that was just getting worse and worse as time moves on. It was never so bad that he couldn't work though it though, not as bad as so many others in the city (knock on wood). So every morning he went into the rec center to put in a full day's work. Every evening he went to check on those people he knew here in Itinere who were sick. He took them food and medicine and whatever else they might need. And he tried not to get sicker himself.

At the rec center, throughout each day, Derek stayed busy. Some days he worked with the treadmills, weights and parallel bars. Some days he worked with the punching bag and settled in a training room to go through his judo moves. Some days he did laps in the pool. Some days he was out on the basketball courts shooting some hoops.

Every day, he helped out whoever came into the place. While people are sick, after people are feeling better. Derek is there.

When Derek isn't at the rec center he can be found around the City in various places. Sometimes he's at the market picking up odds and ends. Sometimes he's at the park walking or jogging on the trails with earbuds in his ears, music from his iPod blaring loudly in his ears. Sometimes he's driving down the streets and up into the twists and turns of the roads in the mountains on his bike from home, which had magically appeared recently. Sometimes he's stopping at the burger joint, because Derek has a hard time resisting a good burger now and then. But really, who doesn't?

ooc: Open catch all for Derek all the way into June. So even if you're sick, you can chat with him when you aren't sick anymore too.

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His voice is noticeably different. Venus didn't expect them to go past ten, remember and she is not going to do anything that hurts him. So, after eighteen, she runs her palm over his skin. She has to trust that he'll safeword if he needs to, that he'll be as honest with her as he promised he would be.

He is, though, she thinks, going to have a hell of a time sitting down tomorrow. She smiles just a little.

She doesn't lighten nineteen - that would insult him - but she does watch his face. Her hips ache, she wants him so badly for this. Venus's cheeks are flushed and there is the slightest sheen of sweat at her brow. "You are gorgeous, lover. Gorgeous."

Her palm over his irritated skin is somehow both soft and rough at the same time. He realizes, belatedly, that it isn't rough at all. The touch just draws out the stinging sensation, and not in a bad way. In fact, he realizes he's subconsciously pressed back against it.

There is no discounting the fact that sitting tomorrow will be difficult. He'll feel this for awhile.

At nineteen, he winces again, his entire body jerking with the blow. And at twenty, he somehow hears himself saying 'okay wait. wait...' even if it doesn't entirely sound like his own voice saying it, with the strange mixture of discomfort and arousal he feels right now. He's supposed to say something. What is it again?

What he says works, really. Venus lets the paddle drop to the bed and she leans forward, running her palm this time over his head, turning his chin to look at her. "Are you safewording, lover?" she asks, and her expression is gentle. There is nothing wrong with safewording, not ever. He's been so good.

Derek hesitates here, unsure that he really wants to safeword, almost feeling as if to do so would make him weak. He has a problem with being seen as weak or with feeling weak. He wants to make it to fifty so bad, just to prove a point to himself. A completely unnecessary point.

In truth, he isn't thinking all that straight right now. His cock his hard and heavy between his legs. His ass is throbbing and stinging. His heart beats loudly in his chest and his own breathing is gasped into his lungs.

Is he safewording? "I don't know. Maybe." He looks at her, pupils dilated and yet still intense. "Touch me." He tells her. It's possible that he's doing this all wrong.

Really, there are some who think that there is just one way to do this. Venus isn't one of those people. She smiles when she meets his gaze, the affection and care she feels apparent on her face.

"Tell me, lover," she says, fingers trailing down his spine. "How do you want to be touched? Be specific." She drags a nail - just lightly - over his reddened skin.

As her fingers slide down his spine he leans into it like a cat, spine arching up and then down again until she finds that angry skin at his ass and it's everything he can do not to wince at the stinging sensation. Has he ever felt so much all at once? He doesn't think so.

Her question is so open ended, and he is so lost in every sensation right now, that he can't pinpoint any one thing he wants. A million different touches and positions enter his mind. Everything in that chest at the end of her bed flashes through his mind. It's a spiral downward into an abyss he can't find a way out of.

So instead of say anything, he gets up to his knees, his backside protesting the movement and he reaches out for her to try to pull her close and kiss her.

"That isn't using your words," she protests lightly, smiling even as she moves with him into those kisses.

One kiss, then she leans back, shaking her head. "Tell me, lover. You have to tell me."

She wants to see, really, if he can. If there are words he can use to tell her what he wants.

The truth is that Derek isn't sure he can put anything into the correct words right now. He just let her spank him with a paddle and is still feeling the remnants of that, like his bones are rattling from the inside out. Maybe he's a little overwhelmed. Maybe he's a lot out of his element. Maybe he thought about the dildo that she had said was her favorite and remembered she has one built in.

So he falls back on what he knows, on what comes naturally to him. "I wanna make you feel good, baby. Come on."

His fingertips slide down her side to her hip where he squeezes and pulls her close again. He kisses her again. "I can make you feel so good." He whispers against her lips.

"I know you can, lover, but this is my turn. It's my turn to make you feel good. So I want to do that." Venus frames his face with her hands and smiles at him, still tasting his kiss on her mouth. "Do you want to make love to me? Do you want my mouth on you? Do you want to be inside me? Or me inside you? Tell me. I want to give that to you."

She knows what it is to feel overwhelmed, and she's here with him. And she'll keep being here with him as long as she can.

She holds his face in her hands and he's forced to try to focus on her, his tongue slipping out to glide over his own lips and then pull his bottom lip through is teeth. Focus. Focus. Focus. His mind slips back to the dildo in the chest. And when he thinks about her fucking him a bundle of anxiety settles in his belly. He can't tell if it's good anxiety or bad just yet.

Is that what he wants? He's never, ever had that when he wanted it. So the lines are blurred and he has no idea what the actual answer to that is. Does it make him wrong to want it? Carl Buford really did a number on him in that area.

The bottom line is that Derek wants something inside. Normally it would be a dildo but right now he has Venus offering herself. "I want you." He whispers the words so softly that they're almost just mouthed. "Inside." He almost adds 'please don't hurt me', but swallows those words down because he's still that man trying to be stronger than he'd once been. Those words sound weak in his mind. And he won't be that.

Weakness is entirely subjective, really. Venus would hardly think less of Derek if he said that and she will be extra gentle with him anyway; her knowledge of what he's experienced and her fondness for him will have her taking extra care.

"Thank you," she tells him, for finding the words, "for telling me and for trusting me. I promise you, lover, that I will make you feel amazing. Lie back."

On his hip, not on his back, since his pretty ass will be a little tender. When he's on his side, she urges his top leg just that little higher and reaches for some lube (conveniently located in the bedside cabinet, of course). She can slick some fingers then, warming it before she settles on her side, facing him for a moment. "I am going to use my tongue first, if that's all right, lover. Then my fingers. Does that sound all right?"

Maybe, just maybe, Venus can teach him what real strength is over time. Deep down, underneath it all, he knows that he isn't that scared little boy anymore. But sometimes, like now, those thoughts and manipulations seep into things beyond where they should be. You can think you're over it, that you've moved past it, but then there it is staring you in the face.

Derek does that, lying back and only catching himself at the last moment when the sheets just brush his stinging backside. He looks up at her as he settles on his side on his hip rather than on his hip. This is okay, right? She hadn't said so. But he's gonna assume until she tells him differently.

She's facing him and Derek likes that he can see her right now. She's beautiful and sexy and she's made him feel alive, on fire, like he's flying. There is nothing not alright with that. "Your tongue? Yeah, I' okay with that." The way he asks that initially, probably makes it clear that he's never had anyone's mouth back there.

That's partly why she's doing it, you see. Because it's a most delicious way to be reintroduced to sensation back there.

"You stay right here," she tells him, kissing his mouth and giving him a smile. "I'll make you feel so good, baby."

Then she's moving, keeping a hand on him so he knows where she is, letting him lie there in what she hopes is a relaxed, comfortable position. She's slicked some of her fingers, which she uses to tease his balls just a little, then she's pressing kisses along the back of his thighs, moving slowly, easily, letting him adjust. He knows what to say if he wants her to stop, after all.

Eventually, when she starts in, it's with wet kisses first, fingers pulling his asscheeks apart carefully, then flicks of her tongue.

Derek meets that kiss, reaching for another one even as she moves. And when he can't reach anymore, he swallows hard past the nerves that seem to have settled in a dry lump in his throat. It helps that she never quits touching him, a reassurance because Venus's touch is unlike any he's ever known.

He lies down on his stomach as her slicked up fingers toy with his balls, one leg bent up just a bit, just enough to give her the minimal room to play. The muscles in his thighs seem to twitch and jump with each kiss, each touch of her lips to his skin. His entire body, his entire self, feels over-sensitized hyper aware of everything in the moment.

And then she touches those reddened cheeks to push them apart and his backside jerks up off of the bed for a brief moment with the stinging sensation that's quickly dispelled by the feel of her tongue back there. Derek inhales a sharp breath of air.

"Oh damn..." He whispers the words so quietly.

And that's only the beginning, isn't it? Venus smiles a little bit, pleased to bring him new sensations and pleasure - always pleasure. She keeps her touch as gentle as she can, even when she uses more of her tongue. Long, lapping swipes at first, then more focused attention on that tight pucker that she will not breech until she is absolutely sure he wants it.

She wants him to remember this night as one entirely good memory: just that and nothing more.

This. This, what Venus is doing to him right now, is not something that Derek has ever felt before. No one has ever put that much attention back there. He'll admit to the occasional idle curiosity about how it could feel at all good for people when it had been nothing but horror, pain and shame for him when he had been younger. But now he has the tentative beginnings of an understanding.

Where his entire body had been tense, every muscle strained and pulled taut, he starts to relax. He starts to let himself feel because it doesn't hurt, not at all. It feels good. It feels intimate. Whatever shame he might have felt starts to disappear replaced with nothing but sensation.

When her tongue focuses on that most intimate of spots, his hips, round and full, involuntarily push up again.

That's it. That's right. Kissing one of those fine butt cheeks, Venus says, "I'm gonna touch you, lover. Just a little. If you need a break or need me to stop, you say your word, all right? Nice and easy and good, all right?"

With slicked fingers, she teases over his perineum before going back, her tongue still working at him gently. The way they are angled, he can see her arousal pressed against the vinyl of her bodysuit; this is a steamy, arousing business for all involved.

The warning is appreciated. Maybe Venus knows that already, has an idea that he needs to know, at least now, the first time. Maybe it's just luck. Either way, the warning and the reassurances are like a salve on his nerves.

He seems to brace himself just a little bit until he feels her fingertips touching him there, the slick already warmed to her skin so it isn't even cold and can only be felt in the way she spreads it there. He twists around a bit to look back at where she's touching him, and then up to her. His eyes are dark with arousal and lust.

It's clear that she's turned on too. Derek is almost relieved by that, by the fact that his complications and inexperience aren't stopping her from feeling these things too. It makes him feel more like they're doing this together. Then she dips her head and Derek dips his too, his brow pressed against his forearm on the sheets even as his hips are angled up against her mouth.

"Ohhh fuck."

Slow and easy, slow and easy .... just the tip of Venus's finger at first, lots of tongue around it, rubbing, nudging a little. She knows could probably slip a finger in easily enough to most people and it would just be uncomfortable, but she's taking care now. Nothing but good.

Tongue, then finger, finger, then tongue and gradually, she's up to her first knuckle. That's when she starts to pump, slowly, carefully, her hips rocking just a little because she can't quite help herself. "Lemme hear you, lover." She laves her tongue from his balls to his hole, finger moving steadily just that little bit deeper each time. "Mmmm, you feel good."

Derek has grown quiet, not of purpose, of course. He's just being reintroduced to something that hasn't happened in a long time. It's about staying in the moment. It's about being able to see Venus and know that everything about this is different than it was before. Everything. He needs it to be different. And there is nothing about this that he's done before.

Not to mention that this is a choice he made. He said yes. He requested this.

But she wants to hear him. "I can't believe I'm doing this." It's the first thing that comes out of his mouth and he isn't sure it's the right thing, whether it's good or bad. What she's doing to him feels strange and new and so, so good if he lets himself just feel it, just stay here in the present.

The deeper Venus's finger goes, the more inclined Derek is to raise his head up and twist back to see her, to know she's there. His eyes are dark and wanting. One hand reaches back to push through her hair from her brow. "I don't know how you're making it feel that way." That way. "Good."

Isn't it funny - and not in a ha-ha way - that something that feels so good can be made to feel so bad? That something so beautiful can be made so ugly? Venus doesn't engage in hate: she likes to put the good things out there in the world; her family was too much about hate for her to want to continue that. But she has no use for those who hurt others. She smiles up at him, her eyes dark. "I want you to feel good, lover. Just that and nothing else. Nothing but good."

By this point, her finger is moving easily and she does just a little exploring to find that good spot.

Ah. There it is.

"Does that feel good?" she asks and she's flexing her hips again. Getting out of this catsuit is going to take some work.

That finger feels like it's somehow deeper than it is. Maybe it's that he's still squeezing tight around it rather than releasing those muscles and just letting it happen. This makes him take a deep breath. Because he wants to help. He wants this to be good. And another deep breath. And then it feels as if he's relaxed.

Only momentarily though, because then she does something that makes his entire body jump to attention. His breath feels short and he looks back to her again, curious, surprised, so turned on.

"Yeah." He says in a breath of air. "Oh god... what...?" He presses his hips back against her hand again.

"That is your prostate, lover. That's what will make you feel like a starburst from the inside," Venus tells him, pleased. Each time she thrusts that finger in, she brushes along that bundle of nerves as she pulls her finger back. "Go with it, lover. Just ... feel. I've got you."

Her other hand presses in the small of his back, letting him ground himself there if he wishes and she presses her cheek to his hip. "If you think you're gonna come, tell me and I'll slow us down."

Strangely enough, Derek, for all of his skepticism and fears and uncertainties, believes that Venus has him. It's a revelation that feels so strange to him, so different. She's being so slow and careful with him. She's making him feel everything good, like he could never have imagined it to feel. He feels cared for in the new journey they're on.

Nothing is rushed. No one is trying to convince him that he likes it. It's his decision to make. And he finds that so far he does like it. He likes how she's making him feel.

Each press of her fingers to that spot sends a jolt of pleasure through him again and again. Like a pulse, a heartbeat of ecstasy that pushes him higher and higher. Lust filled eyes remain trained on her. To see her. To know that this is her making him feel this way. He has nothing to be ashamed of.

"Do I make you feel this way? Like everything's..." He doesn't even know how to explain it. Too much but not enough at the same time. "I need more, baby."

"Like everything is delicious," Venus finishes for him. "Yes, you do, lover. Always do with your pretty cock and wonderful fingers."

More, he says, so more she will give him. Carefully, she extracts the finger to twist two inside, a little more quickly, but with lots of lube. Here we go, that's right. Feeling for his prostate again, she pumps her fingers and her cock nearly moves in time with the movement. "You look so good like this, lover. You just look like a beautiful, beautiful creature made up of pleasure and little else."

open | so I keep doin' my own thing; walkin' tall against the rain

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