Venus Van Dam (Sons of Anarchy) (
venusvandam) wrote in
itinere2015-04-28 08:50 pm
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Open | Well, isn't this just fine and dandy.
Suffice to say that this new locale that Venus is forced to call home has not been entirely kind to her. Firstly, she was taken from her lover and from Charming and unceremoniously dropped in this place. Then she met a most stunningly handsome man who turned out to be just a little nuts short of a full toolbox, very nearly overwhelming her with his ardor only to entirely vanish as if nothing had ever occurred.
It's enough to make a girl's head spin.
Then add insult to the injury of the whole drama that is her current position, she has the most hellacious headcold, making everything seem muzzy and fuddled.
Really, as she sneezes for the fiftieth time into her handkerchief, she falls to sit on a bench because a girl just needs a break. After all, it's hard to give oral pleasure when one can't breathe through one's nose.
So, there is a very striking brunette in a very short skirt sitting on a bench, sneezing and blowing her nose to beat the band. Oh, the trauma.
It's enough to make a girl's head spin.
Then add insult to the injury of the whole drama that is her current position, she has the most hellacious headcold, making everything seem muzzy and fuddled.
Really, as she sneezes for the fiftieth time into her handkerchief, she falls to sit on a bench because a girl just needs a break. After all, it's hard to give oral pleasure when one can't breathe through one's nose.
So, there is a very striking brunette in a very short skirt sitting on a bench, sneezing and blowing her nose to beat the band. Oh, the trauma.
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That's when he sees Venus.
He'd been avoiding her on purpose. Everything he had done? It hadn't been right. And he still couldn't explain how obsessed he had been. Something here had messed with him. Except he was so very confused about how or how he had felt or how he still felt. For a moment he thought about turning around and going the other way. But bottom line, he owed her an apology.
So he approached. "Hey." He said, gesturing to the bench. "Mind if I sit?" See how he isn't immediately trying to get up in your space and touch and trap? He's better now, Venus. Less stalker, more completely humiliated in every way.
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"Look, I hardly know you. And I don't know what happened to me or why..." Although he had heard that such things had been running rampant throughout the city for awhile. It pissed him off, really. Someone could have gotten very hurt. Derek knew all too well how far obsession could take a person.
He's glad for the dark shade of his sunglasses when he looks back at Venus. Because in his memory, what he had felt for her was very real. That just confused him more. He had no idea how to feel about that, how to equate it with who he was really, without all of that intensity. He was so embarrassed and so confused and his sunglasses hid however much of that might show through in his eyes. "Whatever it was, I owe you an apology. I don't know how things got so out of hand. But they did and... I have no excuse. Just an apology. I'm sorry."
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When he's done, there's a pause, but not an indignant one, just thoughtful.
"Derek," she finally says and she pats the bench next to her. "Sit down, please. I think that will work better for us to talk, don't you?"
Of course, in the meantime, she has to sneeze, excuse her; she wipes her nose before going on. "I appreciate your apology. I accept it and while I cannot claim that I understand, let us say that I'm not entirely ignorant of my more ... attractive features."
The self-deprecation there is more than clear, especially to someone who looks.
"I hope you will understand that it is difficult to reconcile the very ardency with which you pursued me, with the icy silence that then followed."
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But as she continues to speak, after that sneeze, Derek moves to sit on the bench with her. He sits, leaning back into the corner of the bench with one arm draped over the back without touching her, trying to look relaxed, like he isn't a mess. He pulls it off well enough. But as for looking at her, Derek reads that self-depreciation pretty well. Reading people is his job, after all. Or it was. She'd probably be unnerved by how well he read her if she knew.
Again, that was just it. They didn't know each other. Derek had been obsessed over her, a physical yearning that he had felt deep into his bones. But she probably wouldn't like him if she knew him.
"You must be talkin' about those high cheek bones and that sway and swag you've got when you walk from here to there." He tries to flip that self-depreciation around. A tiny bit of flirtation followed by a slight grin. Derek always tries to make people feel better or feel good where he can. But he can't help the way his gaze dips down to her chest and strains to keep from going lower. He had touched every inch of her. Again, thankful for the sunglasses.
He sobers completely when she mentions the last week or so where whatever had happened to him had worn off, where he had felt a loss so deep as if he had truly lost someone he loved, where he hadn't really known which way was up anymore. Even now, the world felt a little off its axis. Like things weren't as they should be. Like nothing was right. "I understand. Everything's... confusing. I mean hopefully we'll get to where somethin' makes sense. I've just been..." He shakes his head. "The ground hasn't felt very steady. And I don't know what to do about that."
Derek pauses, looking up at the sky, his eyes squinting in spite of the sun glasses. "I'm gonna figure it out though, eventually. And you... I know I got scary there for awhile. I figured you wouldn't want me anywhere near you. So I stayed away." Mourned his loss on his own. It had been real. It still felt real even if it also felt like a dream, someone else... he couldn't explain it.
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Not that the effort goes unappreciated; she offers her own small smile back, just as another sneeze overtakes her and she pauses to blow her nose; not very ladylike, but it has to be done.
"I'm not sure," she says, finally, "what it is you would like me to say, Derek." Her expression turns gentle with some sadness tinging at the edges. "But I suppose I can ask a question: what is it that you want from me? If you are feelin' that your head is clearer, well ... I must admit that I do not know where I fit in that idea of making sense."
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Of course she didn't know what to say. Neither did he. He felt like he was rambling and rambling all around the emotions that were so complicated and hoping he came out of it with some kind of clarity that would tell him what to say or how to act. Normally, Derek was always confident, always knew what he wanted and what to do. And if he didn't know, he faked it. This was a whole new playing field though.
Even the tone of her voice now, so sweet but laced with a sadness that he hated that she felt, that he had anything to do with, even now he feels like his heart in his chest is twisted and raw. He wanted to reach out to her but knew he shouldn't. He had loved her so fully. It was real. It had been. It is. Could you love someone you didn't know? No. Yes. Maybe. He didn't know.
Bottom line. "Maybe we could get to know each other. I'd like to get to know you."
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This isn't her feeling sorry for herself, you see. She is merely trying to cut a dead-end road off at the pass. Because maybe, despite all the strangeness that seemed to exist in the time they were together, there had been something real there. And the real could be quite terrifying at times.
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Then he realized his fingers were drawing circles on her elbow and he curled his hand into a fist, bending his elbow to bring his hand away. "The Biblical sense was... I've never been with..." He grins finally, a low rumbling chuckle escaping him. His skin felt flushed with heat. "It felt good. Really good."
He swallows hard. "There's more than that though. Don't you wanna know me?" It was suddenly occurring to him that maybe she didn't, maybe he had really felt all these things and was so damn confused on his own. Derek did not like being out on a limb on his own. He didn't like the feeling of it. And the hilarious thing was, he had never let himself get close enough to someone to love them. He had never let anyone really know him. But with the lingering emotions of the last few weeks, here he was worried that someone didnn't want to really know him.
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Because if she takes him seriously, she might just lose herself. And if Venus loses herself in someone who - their time aside - seems to so clearly have his life together, then well, that cannot end well, can it? And perhaps she's just as eager to be loved too - is that so wrong to be loved?
"What is it that you mean when you say 'get to know you,' mmm?" she asks, waggling a finger at him, her face - and her heart - somewhere between hope and humor and wanting to chastise the foolish boy. "Explain those words to me, please."
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"I mean..." A corner of his lips almost pulls into another smile at that waggling finger of hers. But he doesn't quite get there. "I mean I'm a person. You're a person. Layers. There's more than sex to a person. To you and me. I wanna know who you are, Venus. I wanna get to know you beyond the superficial. And I know that's gonna take time."
He looks away again, adjusting his sunglasses and then leaning forward away from the corner of the bench. He rests his elbows on his knees. "And I also understand that you might not wanna get to know me. And that's okay. I get it. Somethin' in this place made me crazy for awhile. And I'm... complicated sometimes. When it comes to dating."
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Venus had to smile, shaking her head. "Honey," she says, again, not cruelly, but with a gentle kind of incredulity. "You know, don't you, that I'm not someone a boy dates."
Oh, but since she was a high-schooler going by Vincent with an overwhelming and cruel mother, how she had wanted just that very thing.
The exoticness of the ordinary. It takes Venus back, making her just want with a kind of ache that seeps into one's bones.
"Do you really ... Derek ... " she has to clear her throat. "Do you really want to date ... me?"
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And he couldn't help the way the residue of love left in his heart made his chest ache when he felt rejection from her.
He looked down at the sidewalk beneath his feet. Maybe he needed to tone it back even more. Maybe he was still coming on to strong even though it felt like he wasn't doing enough. Anything to keep her from saying a flat out no to him.
"How about coffee?" Was that better? He looks over to her through the shade of his sunglasses. "One step at a time. Coffee sounds good, doesn't it? You and me? Conversation and caffeine?"
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"Throw in a scone," she finally says, a smile on her lips that doesn't quite make it to her eyes - she's waiting for the other shoe to drop, the one with a stiletto heel that has an obscenity that starts with an F on it and ends in "you."
"And you've got a deal."
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He stood up an held out a hand to her that she could take or not. He wouldn't be offended if she didn't. It might sting a little but that's okay. He could handle sting if she was willing to still hang out with him. Coffee was just coffee. No label on it like date or anything else that could make either of them uncomfortable. Hopefully he was on the right track now.
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Lord. This cold just isn't going away. It's just a cold, she thinks, not relating it to that strange message they'd all gotten.
"Excuse me," she murmurs, wiping her nose again. "Perhaps I'll have tea."
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"Wait what's this goin' on up in here?" He waves a finger around the nose area. "You sick?" He too remembers that strange message from some woman named Brig.
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"Are you having second thoughts of taking me to coffee, Derek? Because I have a bit of a cold? Trust me," she says as she starts to talk. "It takes more than a cold to take me down."
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"Nah. Just..." He shakes his head. "Maybe you should go home and lay down. I could bring you some chicken noodle soup, orange juice, stuff to get you feelin' better."
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That sounds ... wonderful, really. Marvelous. She's so worn out by this blasted cold that there's a moment when tears nearly come to her eyes at the offer. She was on her way home when she'd paused at this bench for a respite. " ... I'll be fine, I'm sure."
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"I know where you live. You go home, get comfortable, lay down. I'll be there in twenty minutes or so with a care package. Easy." He lays out the plan for her. He isn't so insistent that he sounds like he's giving her an order, he's just giving her an alternative plan.
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She sneezes again - a blast of four in a row and it's clear that she cannot argue with his point that she needs to lie down. "... all right." Squeezing Derek's arm, she says, "thank you, Derek." And she starts the slow walk toward her home.
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Finally, he goes off to get a few things. It takes just a little bit longer than the twenty minutes he said it would. It's just over half an hour later when he knocks on her door and then twists the knob to let himself inside.
"Hey it's me, gorgeous." He calls out to let her know she didn't have a stranger in her apartment. Then he locks the door. "Don't get up. I'll find my way around." He goes straight to the kitchen with his bags.
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Her little apartment is nothing special, but it doesn't need to be. "In here," she says of her living room, her voice sounding stifled and sniffly.
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The microwave beeped and he swapped out the mug for the bowl. With the mug out, he drops a tea bag of chamomile tea in it. His mom had always found that one soothing, at least. "Got some OJ in the fridge for you. Vitamin C."
And then he finally appears in the living room with a steaming mug he sets on the coffee table, a box of kleenex with aloe in it for her nose which he also sets on the coffee table, a box of sinus medicine and THIS stuffed lion. He holds the doll out with a grin and wiggles it back and forth. "For you. Too good to pass up."
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TRIGGER WARNING - ABUSE
Re: TRIGGER WARNING - ABUSE
Re: TRIGGER WARNING - ABUSE
TRIGGER WARNING - ABUSE
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