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I'm okay with Chainsaw. [ Which also meant that he was okay with Ronan, because the two went hand in hand. But a part of him thought that maybe Chainsaw would be easier company than Ronan. Not because he didn't like Ronan. But because he did like Ronan. Because sometimes the way he liked Ronan got confusing. Chainsaw was perfectly platonic in that he was just an extension of Ronan.

Adam sat down on his side of the bed and stared at the wall. For awhile he was quiet. He didn't say anything, just glad that Ronan made this easy and agreed to be on the side closest to the door. It was already getting to be late and Adam was already thinking about how he missed the trailer, how he missed St. Agnes, how he missed Monmouth and Gansey and Noah. ]

This isn't gonna be weird, is it? [ Because Ronan and he hadn't done anything since that moment in the Barns. Adam never knew when it was okay to reach out and touch Ronan or when it wasn't, even when Adam wanted to. So he just didn't. And then nothing happened. ]

[ Ronan was content to let the silence, content to let Adam think, his own thoughts wrapped up in some of the same issues. Just looking at this room made him miss his room at Monmouth with his stereo equipment and his headphones he used to either drown out all his thoughts or keep himself awake, or distract himself. He didn't want to think about missing Gansey or his car or the barns that weren't here and couldn't ever be here. He couldn't let himself think about Matthew or the fact that he'd miss mass on Sunday if they didn't get out of here.

At Adam's question, Ronan's jaw went tight and there was a flash of hurt in his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest and resumed his leaning position against the doorway. ] It's going to be weird as fucking hell. The last time I slept with someone I was like ten and Matthew'd had a nightmare. [ He drew his cheeks in, the tip of his tongue pressing against his teeth. He was worried about how much of this was about that kiss that night in the Barns. He had never been subtle about his feelings for Adam, but until that moment, he'd been respectful of what he thought Adam wanted, and every moment afterward, he'd respected what Adam had wanted. The ball was in Adam's court. He wasn't sure what to do with Adam's question, to be honest. He didn't know how much of it was about him and how much of it was about this and a in a way that question hurt a lot. ]

Don't worry, Parrish. I'm not going to rape your skinny ass. I'll keep my hands and everything else to myself, but if you're scared of me or of this being weird, I'll sleep on the couch. Fuck knows when I go to sleep, I don't give a shit where it is. [ He's just happy to be able to sleep (hopefully) without worrying about night terrors. ]

[ Adam didn't see that hurt because he was staring at the wall. He was staring at the wall so intently and purposefully so that he couldn't see Ronan's face. For a reason. He felt so awkward and embarrassed that he had no idea what he should be doing and how he should feel and where this was going and what was okay and what wasn't.

Somehow, he felt like him and Ronan sharing a bed would be very different from Ronan and Matthew sharing a bed.

But Ronan's tone of voice was what caught his attention more than the words themselves. Because Ronan sounded pissed off. Maybe he sounded a little weirder than pissed off, like something else was going on. Adam looked over to Ronan, his brow furrowed to look at he other. ] No, I didn't think... I didn't mean... I just...

[ He looked back at the wall and stared at it. ] I just want us to be okay. Together. Not that you have to sleep on the couch. I just... want us to be okay.

[ Oh, it was going to be incredibly different, but that wasn't something that Ronan wanted to call attention to when he was already afraid that Adam was afraid of sleeping next to him. As far as Ronan was concerned, Adam couldn't really fuck this up unless he pushed Ronan away and severed all ties. Eventually they would really need to have that talk.

Weirder than pissed off was accurate. Adam was one of the few people in Henrietta that hadn't known him forever and wasn't afraid of him. Ronan hated the idea that that might have changed.

At Adam's words, Ronan sighed, something born of frustration and a complete inability to use words that would make any sense to him. He shoved away from the door, fists balled with an intense desire to hit something. There was nothing to hit (they'd have to remedy that) so Ronan settled for tossing himself almost violently on the bed. He lay on his back and threw his arm over his eyes. ]

Fuck. Parrish. We're okay. Sleeping in the same god damn bed isn't going to change that. I'll even wear pants to make easier for you to keep your hands off me. [ He paused for a second or two. ] I don't want you afraid of me. For any reason.

[ After a moment, he pulled his arm away from his eyes, looking to Adam to see his reaction to what was a joke (but no, he wouldn't sleep naked anymore). ] If you're going to make me talk about my fucking feelings like a chick, we're gonna have to see if they stocked the fridge with booze.

[ Spoiler alert: They did.]

[ The bump of the mattress as Ronan fell dramatically against it had Adam turning, lifting one leg onto the bed to sit sideways on the mattress with the other leg dangling off the edge with his foot on the floor. He watches Ronan, glad for the few moments where the other has his arm over his eyes and can't see him watching him freely.

Adam has caught Ronan staring at him before. Ronan hadn't caught Adam reciprocating as far as Adam knew.

He smirked at Ronan's joke and dipped his head, hiding the small grin on his lips. Adam's ability to keep his hands off of Ronan was probably a large part of the problem. Ironic. ]

I'm not afraid of you. [ It was the truth. ] I'm just... not sure what to do with how... [ He didn't want to say 'with how I feel'. Because that was mockable. ] It's okay. Let's just... sleep.

[ No, Ronan hadn't ever caught Adam staring at him. It might foster some understanding between the two if he had.

Ronan was quick enough this time to catch the smile on Adam's lips and it made him smirk. It made him feel a touch accomplished because Adam didn't often smile Yes, it was definitely a large part of the problem because Ronan spoke in actions, in touches rather than words. Adam's hands on him would speak volumes that neither of them seem to be able to speak right now.

When Adam started speaking, Ronan pushed himself up on his elbows, watching him. There was the slightest sense of ease about his expression when Adam said he wasn't afraid of him. His brow furrowed as he listened, lips pursing ever so slightly. He might not say the words 'how I feel' but there were few ways to end that sentence, few ways that wouldn't be ridiculous, so the implication was there. It was only mockable because Ronan didn't know what to do with his feelings either, though at this point he wasn't sure he would mock simply because of his own feelings for Adam.

He nodded, pushing himself on up into a sitting position then to standing. It was only a step or two to the dresser. Out of habit more than anything, he pulled open a drawer to find it full of things like tee shirts and sleep pants. He plucked a pair of pants out and tossed them to Adam then grabbed another pair and crossed to the door. ] I'm gonna piss and change. We'll leave the door open so Chainsaw can explore and come in here when she's tired.

[ They'd probably wake up to a couple of things destroyed, but it'd be a good chance for Ronan to test out how dreaming worked here. ]

[ Again, Adam could feel Ronan's eyes on him. He had no idea how Ronan could do that, look at him with such intensity that he could feel the brute force of it on his skin. It felt like the hairs on his arm stood up on end, as if the feeling was literal rather than an idea. Did Ronan affect other people this way? He hoped not.

As Ronan pushed up off of the bed to stand, Adam started to speak to ask him to stay. A part of him worried that Ronan would make good on the mention of sleeping on the couch. But Ronan only went to the dresser. Adam shut his mouth and caught the soft cotton pants when Ronan threw them at him. Leaving the door open implied that Ronan would stay. ]

Yeah, okay. That's fine. [ The moment Ronan left the room, Adam changed quickly. His shoes came off and then his jeans. Then he slipped into the pajama pants. He kept his tee on. And then went into the bathroom which was thankfully when Ronan was done pissing. He stepped up behind him at the bathroom counter, reaching around to pick up a toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste. ]

At least we know neither of us snores.

[ To answer whether Ronan affected other people this way with his intense stares, he'd have to talk to other people. However, since most people go awkward or get intimidated when Ronan's attention was focused on him, it was a good bet that Adam was the only one affected this way. Adam remained the only one stupid (smart) enough not to be afraid of Ronan.

One of these days Adam won't be so reluctant to speak to Ronan. He had every intention of staying, at least for tonight to see how it worked out.

Once in the bathroom, Ronan changed quickly as well, shedding both his jeans and his tank top in favor of sleeping shirtless. By the time Adam gets there, he's in the middle of brushing his teeth, standing at the sink in pajama pants, barefoot. He leans over the sink, mouth canted to catch a mouthful of water, swish it around and spit it out. ]

All we've got to worry about is what I drag out of my dreams. [ He says it with a smirk, treating it lightheartedly, but at some point it'll probably be odd. After all, Ronan has woken up with a foundling raven in his hands, a box in his bed, a monster trying to kill him and any other number of weird things in bed with him or sitting next to the bed. The weird crap the barns are full of is proof that even when a dreamer has exquisite control, even when a dreamer isn't trying to dream, they bring things back with them. Yes, Ronan has fantastic control now when he goes into a dream with the purpose of bringing something back, but when he falls asleep without any purpose, it's a whole other story. ]

[ Even though Ronan mentioned his dream things with a smirk, trying to keep the mood light, Adam knew the dangers of what his friend could dream. He'd seen the nightmares, knew what they had done to Kavinsky, even if Adam felt such a thing had been warranted. And he knew what sort of inanimate things Ronan could dream and the dangers they could cause as well. Adam wasn't naive about those possibilities. But to him, having Ronan there outweighed what could happen.

When Ronan was close to done, Adam shoved his way into the small space between Ronan and the wall at the counter. He held his toothbrush under the water and then started brushing his own teeth. He looked up into the mirror, at the reflection of him and Ronan in it. What the odd pair they were. Or maybe that oddness was just in his head.

Not just anyone. But someone like Ronan Lynch...

He leaned over the sink and spit, cupped some water in his palm, spit again. Then he put the toothbrush in the swanky holder that he'd only ever seen on the shelves in stores rather than actually owning. ] Just don't dream a dragon... or spiders. [ He goes back to the bedroom. ] r snails.

It was the reason Ronan had spent so much time sleeping at the church, sleeping in his car, sleeping at the barn. Sometimes, even sleeping at Adam's. There he could dream about wasps without fear that one tiny sting would kill someone he cared about. No doubt, a wasp sting would hurt Adam, but it wouldn't kill him the way it would Gansey. In some ways, Adam had been Ronan's safety net long before they came here.

When Adam shoved his way into the small space, Ronan didn't move. He stayed there close enough to feel the heat off Adam's skin, close enough that he bumped against him every now and then. If Adam thought they made an odd pair, Ronan didn't, particularly. They were opposites in so many ways, looks just being the first of many, but they fit together in the way that opposites sometimes do, two pieces of a puzzle that when they're put together you can't help but think why you didn't see it all along.

At least that's how Ronan saw it.

"Dragons, spiders and snails. Awfully specific of you, Parrish. You realize now that you've said those things that's what's in my head."

They'd have to talk about other things to put something fresher and more compelling there.

Adam splashed some cold water on his face and looked almost amused that he would have to bring up other topics before they slept to keep Ronan from dreaming dragons, spiders and snails. Of course he knew that he would have to. He hid that amused look behind a towel that he used to wipe and dry his face off. The whole while he could feel Ronan next to him, close and sometimes touching his arm and shoulder with his movement. That's why when he pulled the towel away from his face he had schooled his features back into their normal place.

For a few seconds he stared at their reflections in the mirror, serious as could be. Then, holding one end of the towel he slapped Ronan's shoulder with the other end before dropping the towel to the counter and exiting the bathroom.

He called back after Ronan. "Dream me a bicycle! A million dollars. A whole box of little debbie oatmeal cream pies."

This could become a game for them, a ridiculous game, but a game none the less. Ronan watched Adam with that peculiar sort of intensity he had while he went through the motions of getting ready for bed. Adam never gave any indication that having Ronan this close was awkward or uncomfortable. In a way, it was a test, to see how Adam was going to handle being in a small room with Ronan. He passed with flying colors.

Ronan stared at their reflections as well, gaze unflinching. The way Adam snapped the towel in Ronan's shoulder surprised him; it implied a level of comfort with him that he didn't know Adam had, but that he was pleased to see. For a moment, Ronan considered snatching the towel up and snapping it back at him. However, in the end, he left it on the counter and followed behind Adam, smirking at his words.

"Come on, Parrish. You gotta learn to dream a little bigger. Why not a motorcycle or a whole crateful of pies," he volleyed back at Adam, ambling after him toward the bedroom. The money...well, a million dollars was a good place to start.

Adam's comfort level with Ronan was ever in a state of flux. There were some things which he would always be comfortable about. But the things that were in flux had to do with a certain kiss at The Barns. He went back and forth from one extreme to the other and everywhere in the middle when it came to his his comfort with Ronan. The towel was one of his more comfortable moments.

In the bedroom, he pulled back the covers to the bed and flopped down on top of them once his side was half undone. He looked up at the ceiling. "Me? On a motorcycle? No way. Those things are expensive. And the upkeep..."

He breathed out a sigh. "Maybe... one pie. And a never-ending jug of milk. Would the milk in a never-ending jug of milk ever go bad?"

While Ronan was, generally, quite comfortable with Adam. The only time he wasn't comfortable was when his physical relationship with Adam came into play. He didn't want to push Adam too far, too fast. He wasn't even certain that Adam hadn't reconsidered everything they did and said that night and decided he regretted it.

Ronan watched Adam for a moment, a curious sort of look on his face. Once Adam was settled, Ronan stepped forward, pulling the blankets back on his side of the bed as well. He flopped down and turned on one side, facing Adam. "It'd be a dream thing, Parrish. Do you know how often I have to change the oil in the BMW? How often I have to put gas in it? How often I have to do shit to it? Never. And it wouldn't be expensive. It'd be free."

Ronan was amused that he had to explain this to Adam. "Not if I dreamed it not to go bad." One of these days Adam would realize that anything was possible when Ronan was dreaming it.

With Ronan in the bed, Adam noticed everything. He felt the mattress shift with each and every movement. And once Ronan was settled, he could feel the other's eyes on him as he continued to stare at the ceiling as if it were oh so very interesting. There was space enough between them for two, maybe three people if they were Adam's and Ronan's sort of slim. But it felt like Ronan was closer than that in spite of the obvious proof to the contrary.

Of course the motorcycle would be a dream thing. Once Ronan said as much, it made sense. He'd known the BMW never needed any work, never needed filled up, never needed to be serviced. Adam didn't know how to repay that kind of gift. And Adam wanted a way to repay it. He didn't necessarily need a way, like he once had. But he wanted it.

"That's not considered an abuse of power or something?" He asked, still teasing.

Good. Everything about Ronan wanted to be noticed, but maybe most particularly everything in this moment. It felt important, regardless of how Ronan had (and would continue) insisted it was no big deal. There was plenty of space between them and no space at all. Ronan wasn't sure how he felt about that right now. On the one hand, it was far too much space and he wanted there to be less space, squeezed in the backseat of the Pig less space. On the other hand, less space would simply lead to more frustration, more confusion and even less of an idea of what to do and where to go with this. More space was probably better until they both figured them out.

As long as he didn't feel he needed to repay him, Ronan would let Adam do whatever he liked in order to satisfy that desire to repay him.

Ronan smirked at Adam's teasing. "Abuse of power is dreaming up a fleet of motorcycles. I think one motorcycle, one pie and a never-ending pitcher of milk is allowed. Besides, you can tell me in the morning when you've got dream hangover whether it's an abuse or not."

Because it was Adam that would suffer the consequences of what Ronan dreamed, not him.

"If I end up with a dream hangover, you have to cook me breakfast. I've heard it's good hangover food." But in all seriousness, that was absolutely the best way to describe what it felt like when Ronan dreamed too much. A hangover that didn't go away, messed with his mood and his mind. It was a horrible feeling to be so out of sorts and out of control in every way. It made Adam wonder why people drank so much when it inhibited their control.

Adam shifted to shove his legs beneath the sheets. He rolled onto his side to face Ronan, one arm curled up under the pillow beneath his head. He'd known Ronan was watching him. Now he could see it. He looked down to some non-descript spot on Ronan's chest. Sometimes Adam could look Ronan in the eyes and keep looking. This was not one of those times.

"This isn't as bad as I thought it would be." He offered by way of convincing himself and easing any concerns Ronan might still have about their sharing a bed. "Bad as in awkward. It's not so awkward."

Ronan smirked at that. "The fuck you think I can cook, Parrish? Hope you like bacon." Ronan drank because before he'd learned how to work his dreams, drinking had made his dreams more fluid, easier to manipulate, easier to bring what he wanted out. He drank because it made hating himself easier. He drank because it made navigating his emotions easier. When he was drunk, Ronan wasn't as guarded about his feelings. It's not that he expressed himself any better verbally, but he was less concerned about how he actually sounded while trying to express himself. He preferred his habits with hangovers because Ronan wanted to punish himself. Ronan could give Adam an education on why he drank and why he liked hangovers if he liked. Adam knew enough to understand Ronan.

Ronan was still watching him with that intent stare, gaze unwavering. His position mirrored Adam's. It didn't bother him that Adam couldn't look at him, it didn't change that Ronan was staring at him.

He smirked again at Adam's comment. "We've slept closer than this before." There was less space between them when Ronan had slept on the floor in Adam's room. Of course, it had seemed like more because it wasn't the same bed, because it was a split level of horizontal and vertical space.

"I only have bacon when we go out for breakfast and I steal it from your plate." Adam answers with a fond look, which is quite an accomplishment, looking fond without smiling. Somehow, Adam pulls it off, remembering how he would sneak some of Ronan's bacon, how Ronan would look thoroughly put out about it but would let him do it. He suspected that Ronan let him do it because he knew that Adam couldn't buy his own breakfast aside from coffee and wouldn't let anyone else do it. Stealing a piece of bacon to rile Ronan up seemed innocent enough.

Strangely, the longer it happened, the less Ronan's stare felt uncomfortable and the more Adam enjoyed it. Ronan chose him to stare at. Ronan Lynch chose him.

"In my room you mean?" He knew that that was what Ronan meant. "That was different." In a lot of ways, but Adam reached a hand out across the space between them over the mattress, just resting halfway between them. "I could never get this close to you back there."

"Yeah, well someone has to feed your skinny ass," Ronan responds without any real heat. And Ronan always responds with some sort of insult or curse, keeping up the ruse that Adam is 'stealing' his bacon. If anyone noticed that Ronan ordered extra bacon, no one ever said anything.

Ronan didn't stare at many people. He usually glared, or his eyes glanced off people with contempt.

He snorts. "No in the back of the Pig." Where they never actually slept. Ronan had pretended once to avoid talking to Declan. There's a snappy, witty, vaguely insulting comment on the tip of his tongue but Adam steals all his words by using the word 'could'. He makes it sound almost as if he wants to get closer to Ronan, almost as if he's not afraid of all Ronan's edges that cut. "Yeah, it's different," he finally concedes, robbed of the ability to say anything else. The words we could end up a lot closer fling themselves against Ronan's teeth and he swallows them down. "Didn't know you wanted to," he finally says, unable to keep those words in.

A part of Adam took the comment in stride, while another part of him responded with hackles raised. Adam had never done well with people looking down on him in any way, with being judged. The problem was that the truth was that he was skinny. He was skinny because he ate very little. He was skinny because he had no money and little food and was usually too proud to take what was offered.

He knew Ronan was ribbing him though. Adam countered. "What, you wish I had a beer belly? No thanks."

In the back of the pig. Yeah, he knows that closeness all to well, how once Blue had rejected him Ronan had started sitting in the back seat with him. He had been thankful for it at the time, accepted it because he'd needed to. And then it had become common place. "It... it feels good to be looked at the way you look at me sometimes." The words are said quietly, a whispered secret.

It should be clear by the way Ronan looked at Adam that he liked skinny, at least the kind of skinny that Adam was. That wasn't to say that Ronan wouldn't keep trying to feed Adam. He wasn't mother hen enough to want to 'fatten' Adam up, but he cared enough to want to take care of him. Part of that was feeding someone.

Ronan smirked at that. If he thought Adam would be comfortable with it, he would reach and grab his shirt, he would glide his fingertips over Adam's stomach. Instead, he kept his hands to himself just as he'd promised. "No fucking way," he scoffed. His words probably making it clear enough that Ronan liked him the way he was.

His eyebrows lifted slightly at Adam's words. He wasn't sure how to respond to them. Ronan was comfortable enough flirting (at least his version of flirting) but he didn't know what to do with something genuine, something fragile and sincere. Maybe it was the whispered secret quality of the words, or the moment, or the fact that they were here alone. Whatever it was, he opted to let go of artifice and attitude and simply respond with the truth.

"Then I won't stop looking."

Adam's fingers itched to reach out to Ronan too and Adam had no idea if not just Ronan would be okay with that, but whether he would be okay with the move himself either. It was all too new and complicated. So instead, he curled his arms up, one under the pillow beneath his head and the other hand sliding under the pillow as well.

The corners of his lips twitched with a hint of a smile at the idea that Ronan wouldn't quit watching. It made him feel better than he would admit to right now. He'd already said a lot more than he had intended. So finally he closes his eyes.

"G'night Ronan." He says softly. He would try like hell to stay asleep where he is. In the morning though, before the son even got up, he would wake up to find himself wrapped around Ronan and fall back asleep that way.

And Ronan won't push, not right now anyway. He takes his cue from Adam, not curling up quite the way Adam does, but folds one arm under his pillow and rests his head on it.

Ronan returns the hint of a smile with a satisfied smirk of his own.

"Night, Parrish," Ronan responds, closing his eyes. When he does realize that Adam is wrapped up around him later, he won't move or push Adam off of him. He'll just go back to sleep until insomnia, restlessness and a too active mind drive him from bed, any hope of sleep gone forever.

Video | Open :: Action | Somewhat open

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