itinere | Open | I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me

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mcu: matt murdock (daredevil)

Open | I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me

Matt's suit showed up a few days after the monsters did. Maybe the city had decided it needed him, or maybe Matt was just ready to pick up the mantle of Daredevil again. Whichever it was, he's dived back into being a vigilante whole heartedly. He's spent every possible hour out in Itinere trying to save people. At first, he'd been hesitant about killing the monsters. He'd been very clear back home about taking lives, but the more often he fights these things the more clear it becomes they're not human and that relieves the guilt he would normally feel about taking lives. He's not a vegetarian and he's never picked up on the buddhist idea of not taking any life, human or otherwise. He may have studied many different kinds of combat, but spiritually he's remained very Catholic.

He hasn't been sleeping much since he picked up the suit, but he's used to that. In fact, in many ways he's more comfortable with this life style than he is with the one of relaxation and leisure he's been living since arriving in Itinere. He checks in every day with those that he's befriended: Derek, Claire, Katniss, Prim and Bo. He sleeps when he can, usually in his own apartment where he's got a sound machine that mimics the city back home.

For anyone that needs help, Matt is out there. He's listening from the tops of buildings for screams, for people in danger. He wants to help.

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Claire's heard about the monster invasion of sorts. She thought she would be just on the sidelines, helping those who needed medical attention, but this is something she can't ignore. She wants to be out there, she wants to help Matt. He will be dead set against it, but she hasn't seen her in action lately.

Edited 2016-10-14 23:20 (UTC)

Prim is spending most of her time in the Houndstooth with her mobile apothecary. It's been hard work, but she expected nothing less. At least this time no children are dying on her watch. No more additions to her survivor's guilt. That's a plus.

So she's glad to see Matt each time he turns up. The last time, she stands to meet him, offering a tired smile and a relaxing herbal mix to help tension. "How are you doing out there?" she asks, hoping that the monsters aren't doing him any harm.

She's been unlucky enough to arrive at the beginning of it. Honestly, Matt would have hoped for a better arrival for her because this isn't the Itinere that he knows. It's usually so much quieter, so much more peaceful. There's a reason this place just decided to give him his suit. He hadn't needed it until now.

In any case, he hears her coming before she arrives and he starts moving toward her, stepping around a corner in front of her. "Why aren't you somewhere safe, Claire?"

Matt is glad that Prim is staying here. Not only is she needed, it's safe for her here. Neither of the Everdeen girls need more guilt to add to their plates.

He's changed out of the suit this time into a pair of sweats and a tee shirt, tennis shoes and the glasses he still wears most of the time. He's planning on staying a little while tonight. He takes the cup of hot liquid from her and blows across the top of it. "Thank you," he murmurs, breathing in the smell of it. "I'm okay. How are things in here?"

His jaw is a little bruised, but the suit he wears outside keeps him protected for the most part. He's tired, but that's par for the course. For the first time since he arrived, he feels like he's doing something good for the town.

Claire sighs. Typical Matt. "I'm here, because you can't do it alone, Matt. I can handle myself, don't worry about me. I might not be close to your skill, but I have skills," she jokes.

If Katniss hadn't already thought highly of him before, showing her the suit would have definitely changed that. There are very few people, she thinks, who would be willing to put aside their own safety for strangers. Especially in this kind of atmosphere. Katniss knows full well how dangerous it is out there. She's been lucky so far, capable of dodging any monster she's come across. But it's only a matter of time before the odds are no longer in her favor. Despite that, she continues to hunt. At the very least, it's something she can do for those at the Houndstooth providing shelter. And something she can do for Matt while he does his best to protect the city.

Taking down a deer had been her first mistake. She had gotten greedy. A deer would be difficult to drag back home with her but she had been determined. The food the one young buck could provide would help a number of Itinere's residence. She hadn't stopped to think that the smell of blood might attract other creatures. Or that Itinere might have something special planned for her.

She doesn't see them right away but she does hear them. That horribly familiar Katnisssssssssssssss hiss. For a split second, she thinks it's her brain playing tricks on her. Then she hears the hiss again. And again. Katniss knows what she should do. She should abandon the deer carcass she's been slowly dragging back to the Houndstooth. She should find a place to hide. She should take out a new arrow.

All she does is freeze as she hears the lizard mutts repeat her name, coming closer and closer.

Prim hopes he does stay for a while. She wants him to get some rest, too, and right now, she isn't sure how much he's been getting on his own. Besides, she does enjoy talking to him. He was the first person to be nice to her who wasn't her sister. Well, the first after she came back confused and distressed. She owes him a lot.

Settling back at her table, she offers him a seat, too. "You're welcome to sit here with me, if you want. I've got a couple of chairs and my cat is on the one next to me, so he's not underfoot." Buttercup can be difficult sometimes, but he's a cat and he's always had Prim's best interests at heart.

"Things aren't too bad in here," she admits, pulling a cup for herself closer. "I thought it would be worse, like the Rebellion, but it's not. We've got injured, but so far, we've been okay."

She's waiting for a death or ten, though. These things don't happen without a few people dying.

He gives her a sort of befuddled look at her declaration. "Claire, I'm not doubting you, but these things out here aren't human. They aren't people we can intimidate and threaten into giving us information. I'm worried about you."

Claire glares back, even though he can't see her. "I know this. Show me what I can do and I'll do it. I'm not going to give into my fear and hide. I won't do it." She says stubbornly.

For a long time, he'd only worn black with a piece of black cloth over his face. His fight with Fisk had changed that. It'd made him aware that he could find someone to make a suit of armor for him that he could still move in. It had made him aware that he needed a suit of armor. When she's outside, Matt tries to listen for her and he hopes that when and if the odds do turn against her, he'll be able to get to her, to help her. He understands her need to help even if it is hunting rather than actively protecting the city. He knows Katniss isn't much for staying inside all day.

Had she planned on trying to take down a deer, Matt could have gone with her to help her carry it back, but even he wouldn't have thought about the smell of blood attracting other creatures. He should have; he might have been able to warn her.

He hears the lizards the same time Katniss does and he stops, perched at the top of a building and listens. Of course, he doesn't know who (or what) is saying Katniss's name and it's distortred, but still obviously her name. He listens a moment longer then heads in the direction the hiss is coming from, all his senses attuned to the source of the hiss. As he gets closer, he catches Katniss' scent and he hears her heart beating like crazy in her chest. That makes him move faster.

If he ever asked for assistance in protecting the city, Katniss might consider. Without any encouragement though, she won't volunteer. Katniss has tried to help others before. Most of the time, it resulted in getting someone killed. Hunting is more her speed. As dangerous as it is right now, she needs it to keep calm. And because it does let her help in her own small way. Knowing Matt is watching over her makes her feel braver, too.

Except with Katniss, occasionally braveness gets confused with cockiness. She's not purposely engaging any of the monsters, therefore she has to be safe. She thought she could handle the deer on her own. She also thought that she'd know better than to freeze in front of the creatures.

Katniss hadn't counted on them being actual muttations though. Muttations from Panem. The ones that had killed Finnick. That had nearly stolen everyone on her propos team from her. She should be smarter than this. The deer meat is replaceable. The promise that she had made to Prim isn't. She should move. She should run. At the very least, she should pull out an arrow from her quiver and try to shoot the closest mutt. Her heart is beating like crazy and she feels tears prick at her eyes. One of the mutts repeats her name and all she can picture is Finnick's last moments.

"No," she whispers. No. She doesn't want to die. Not anymore. Katniss drops the deer from her hand and starts to run. The muttations hiss and cackle in response, delighting in the chase.

Not much is the answer to that, but he's glad to be here and he knows he's running on fumes. He's due some rest so maybe he'll stay a while, relax and get a little rest.

He takes the seat, sinking into it as his exhaustion sweeps over him. "Thank you," he tells her. "Buttercup doesn't bother me. I've never had cats around, but I like them." He knows how important Buttercup is to Prim. Katniss had told him a little about the cat.

"Good. I'm glad they've opened this place to be a shelter of sorts," he says as he picks up his tea and blows across it lightly then takes a sip. "So far I've noticed the same thing out on the streets. People injured, but no one has died that I'm aware of."

He's well aware, but he can hope they'll be lucky in that regard.

Some day he might, but right now he's more concerned about making sure Katniss is safe. The people who help him tend to end up hurt and he doesn't want that for Katniss.

Bravery and cockiness often get confused for a lot of people. She probably could have handled the deer, but the monsters make it dangerous rather than simply cumbersome. Given her history with these monsters, it makes sense that she'd freeze.

This isn't a physical fear for her, it's emotional and it's tied to tragedy in her past. Of course she's afraid. She isn't thinking, can't think because that fear is paralyzing her, that emotion is blocking any and all logical response. Matt can hear the way her heart beats too fast. He can practically smell the salt in her tears and he pushes himself.

He drops from a building into a crouch right in front of Katniss. He grabs her wrist and pulls her behind him while sending one end of the billy club he's carrying out to smack the lizard on the head. "Run back to the Houndstooth," he tells Katniss. The billy club does a decent job of distracting the mutts and gives him the moment he needs to launch into combat with them. It's supernatural the way he narrowly avoids the snap of teeth and the swipe of claws, employing the billy club.

Funny; the people that tend to care for her have a tendency to end up hurt, too. And she still let Matt in. Some risks are apparently worth it.

He's right in thinking that her fear is more of an emotional response than a physical one. She hasn't told him much about the uprising and as soon as she sees Matt, Katniss has a sinking feeling that she might have to explain some of her history with the lizard muttations in the near future. That's fine; so far, nothing she's said has caused Matt to shy away from her. And the wound has already been ripped back open.

That's why she still doesn't run even as Matt tells her too. Survival has always been paramount in Katniss' life. It's an instinct that's always won out. One she's always listened to. Except now. Running would be the smart thing to do. It would be the safest. But Matt's standing in between her and the mutts and while they're not in a sewer below the Capitol, the situation feels too much the same.

"Finnick," she whispers, practically sobbing the name. This feels too much like Finnick telling her to climb up the ladder while he held back the mutts. She had left and he had died. Though Katniss takes a few steps backwards, she can't leave. But she's still useless in a fight, trapped in the memories rather than doing anything to help Matt or herself.

"Buttercup should like you as long as you're nice to me," Prim points out, knowing just how Buttercup can be. He's a very picky cat, but for good reason. If Matt is nice to her, and Prim doesn't think he will stop being nice to her, then Buttercup should be fine.

"I am, too," she agrees, glancing around. "I was afraid Katniss and I would be holed up in our house here. It's much better here with other people and this way we can be around to help if we're needed. I'm not a fighter, but this is something I can do. So if you get hurt out there, you can come to me, okay?"

They can hope, for sure.

Caring about Katniss isn't going to put Matt in more danger. His life is already full of danger.

No, she hasn't, and yes he's going to want to know more about this and what's going on with her. He's glad that she realizes she won't scare him away.

At least, he realizes that she hasn't run, that he needs to keep these things, whatever they are, away from Katniss.

His attention is grabbed for a moment by Katniss uttering a name that he doesn't recognize. It's enough that the lizard has a chance to slash at Matt. Thankfully, the armor protects him from actually getting hurt. He returns to wailing on the lizard things. He uses the edged blades on the club, but they're not really meant for this sort of thing. He manages to beat one to the point of it slinking away to lick it's wounds, but he's still got others to deal with.

Her fear and apprehension about endangering others is far from anything rational. It's the result of too many coincidences and a desperate need to hold on tightly to those few she has left in her life. Still, it's a hard fear to quit.

Fearful tears sting her eyes when the lizard slashes at Matt. Distracting him is the last thing she wants right now. Katniss had been lost in her own head, caught up in the memories that she'd rather forget. In the moments before Matt's attacked, she had been reliving Finnick's final moments. Her mind had been far from the present danger. It's the sound of claws scratching the armor that snap her back to reality. She blinks, watching Matt to beat the lizard mutt into retreat. Then another one approaches.

This time, she does have enough thought to fire an arrow at the nearest mutt.

He may not be able to see it, but he can feel the glare. "The place for learning isn't out here where it's dangerous. It's in the gym where it's safe. I understand you don't want to give into your fear, but I don't want to see you hurt."

"That's easy enough," Matt says with a soft smile. He likes Prim and he knows how important Prim is to Katniss. That makes her important to Matt as well, even if he didn't like Prim.

"I would have helped Katniss make sure you two got somewhere like this if she hadn't gotten you both here herself. I know it's easier with others." He nods his head a little at her offer. "Thank you. I'm sure I'll have minor scrapes and bruises that need a little something. I hope it won't be more than that."

It's not a fear she has to get over right now. Matt is handling this okay. She just needs to stay safe.

Matt doesn't wish monsters on Itinere, but it is nice to be out here fighting again. He won't admit how easy is to let loose and not worry about killing these things.

All of that being said, it's also nice to have Katniss' back up. She fells the mutt nearest her and he goes to work beating the last one. If she can take a shot, he'll give her some space to do it. All she has to do is draw back her bowstring and he'll get out of the way before the arrow hits.

"Well, then train me. You know I can do it, Matt. Like I said, you can't do it alone, no matter how much you want to be a martyr for these people. I'll hide out, until they do, but in the mean time, take care of yourself. Don't over do it." She gives him a friendly kiss on the cheek and runs back to take shelter.

The concept of superheroes is one that Katniss is still learning about. Even so, she doubts that Matt would have a suit if he didn't know what he was doing out there. Based on the bits that he's told her about Daredevil, she doesn't doubt that he can handle these monsters. His experiences have been very different than her own.

She should take the shot. She needs to keep Matt safe from that last mutt. Succeed when she had failed before. But until Matt gives her enough space, she doesn't pull back. Finally, after what seems like forever, Katniss finally feels confident enough to let an arrow fly.

"That's really nice of you," Prim says honestly, her smile forming further. The more she talks to him, the more she likes him. He makes her feel safe, like she can trust him, and that's good for someone with her background. She hopes her sister feels the same.

"It is easier sometimes," she agrees slowly. "Sometimes the last thing I want is to see a lot of people." With her nightmares and guilt eating at her, sometimes people are the worst thing for her. "But with things like this... at least it's good to know who you can trust." She pauses, considering whether she wants to continue and then decides to do just that. "And I trust you, so I would have gone anywhere you wanted."

Selfishly, he wants Prim to like him, to trust him because of Katniss, but the more he talks to her, the more he gets to know her both through those interactions and her sister, the more he wants Prim to like him because of the person she is. She's good and kind. The world, whether it's this one or another, needs more people like her.

Matt's brow furrows a little at that. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize..." he knows Katniss often feels that way, but he hadn't realized Prim had difficulty with crowds of people. He smiles slightly ather assurance that she trusts him. "Thank you. I'll try to make sure I don't let you down."

Matt supposes it is a rather 20th century concept. Even then, he's not sure that it's something that really came about until Captain America in the forties. Matt hadn't originally set out to be a superhero and if he couldn't hear everyone's pain and cries for help, he might not be one now. He's more comfortable with the term vigilante, but that has more to do with his own issues than anything.

When he hears the bow pulled back, he starts trying to give her the space to take the shot. Of course, that's easier said than done. The lizard thing has no desire to keep any space between them. Matt has to find a weak spot and work at it until the lizard is pushed back a bit. Once that happens, he ducks and gets well out of the way when he hears Katniss' arrow fly. He'll wait until he hears it hit and knows it's a fatal shot before he goes to her, one hand reaching out to her.

"Katniss, it's okay now. They're gone." He starts speaking to her before he gets to her, wanting her to realize that it's him approaching her.

She shakes her head immediately at his apology. "It's okay. I'm usually fine." It's all her survivor's guilt and the occasional flashbacks that can knock her over some days. The latter have been leaving her alone recently and she isn't complaining about that. "If I minded having you here, I would have moved or told you." That he can count on.

As for the rest, she smiles easily. "I don't think you could unless you turn out to be a crazy dictator in disguise." Though there's good humor in her words, she is serious. She doesn't see him as being the type of person to truly let her down.

"Good," he tells her. "I promise not to take offense, unless you tell me that I ought to." After all, if he does something to offend her, he wants to know so that it doesn't happen again. He understands that. He's got a few traumatic events in his own past that sometimes surprise him by popping up in the most unexpected ways.

He chuckles a bit at that. "Luckily, I don't have any plans for that." He recognizes the humor, but knows enough about President Snow to realize she's also serious.

Katniss hears his words but they don't register. She's still feeling the shock of seeing the lizard mutts to begin with, still caught in the back flashes of running through the Capitol tunnels. She sees Finnick dying again and again. She hears herself whispering 'nightlock, nightlock, nightlock' over and over. It's as if she's trapped in the cycle of nightmares even though she's awake. Itinere hasn't always been safe but it's never had mutts.

Her grip stays tight on her bow as Matt approaches. She has enough common sense not to reach for another arrow. It's Matt. It's Matt in the dark red suit. Matt that saved her. Matt that's still alive.

Still alive.

She should've been the one to die that day. She should've been the one to die when the parachutes exploded. Why did she survive? Why? Why didn't Peeta let her take the nightlock pill? Why did Matt have to save her now.

Staying strong isn't possible anymore. She falls to her knees and hugs herself tightly and tears cloud her vision. "Dead," she whispers. "They're dead. Gone."

But she isn't referring to the lizard mutts.

Whether she's the mockingjay or not, she's too important to die. The universe seems to know that. Besides, she deserves a life, a good one.

He puts up his weapon and starts to her. Thankfully, he's close enough to catch her when her knees crumple under her. He sweeps her up in his arms, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Come on. I'll get you somewhere safe."

He has the feeling she's not referring to the lizard mutts.

No she isn't. Katniss isn't more important than anyone else in Panem or Itinere, or anywhere for that matter. If she dies, she dies. There's nothing that says she deserved (or still deserves) to live. Let alone have a good life. This is where Matt becomes so important. These are the kinds of things he'll never let her get away with thinking for long.

He also catches her when she falls. He's been there to hold her whenever the painful memories have gotten the better of her, even when they had only just been getting to know each other. There are very, very few people she'd be okay with seeing her this weak and he's one of them.

Her eyes close as he scoops her up and presses a comforting kiss on her temple. She's still replaying everyone dying in her head. Katniss can't stop the memories from flooding in. The lizard mutts have made it all too real. She takes a deep breath and another one and then leans her head against his chest. "Are you okay?"

Katniss is important to Matt. She's the most important person here, as far as he's concerned. No, he won't let her think so little of herself. Not ever, because he thinks far too highly of her.

He's trying to make sure that he's always there when she needs him. He loves her even when she's weak and he knows that he can be just as vulnerable in front of her.

He heads straight toward his apartment, using his senses to avoid any other monsters on the way. "I'm okay," he tells her quietly. "We'll be there in just a little while."

He's so good for her. So good to her. Right now, she needs this support. She needs the reminder that there's others here - people that aren't Prim - that want and maybe even need her in their lives. The appearance of the lizard mutts triggered a kind of reaction in her that she hasn't felt in a long time now. She's come a long way since the day she assassinated Coin and tried to take her own life. Giving in to that depression would be too easy.

When it comes down to it, she just can't give in all together. As much as she needs Matt, there are times he needs her. His life has been just as far from easy as her own. He needs someone to love him and remind him not to give in to his guilt.

"Good," she whispers. He's okay. He's okay. She didn't get him killed, too. Matt won't be another casualty on the long list that she often repeats in her mind. "Good. I- I can't lose you, too."

Quite frankly, Matt needs this as well. He needs someone who needs him and wants him here, him not the vigilante that he can be. Matt will do everything possible to remind Katniss that she's wanted and needed by someone other than her sister. He's been lucky and hasn't ever really suffered from depression, but he knows that it's easy to fall into and he'll give Katniss every reason not to.

He'll remind her of that as well.

She didn't get him killed. She's not going to get him killed. In fact, she'd saved him by shooting the lizard mutt. She is the reason that he is okay. He'll remind her of that too. He's got a lot of things to remind her of. "I'm not going anywhere," he tells her as he uses the fire escape to get to his apartment, sliding open the window and ducking through with her in his arms. He takes her to the couch, carefully lying her down and pulling a blanket over her. "I'm just going to get out of this suit. I'll be right back. I'll make you some tea and sit with you, okay?"

She understood the reasons why he took up the vigilante role. It isn’t always easy to sit back and do nothing. Regardless of why, sometimes you just have to take up the fight. But she’s never fully appreciated what Matt was capable of until now. Now that they’re both safe, and she’s laying on his couch wrapped in a blanket that smells so reassuringly like him, she can really appreciate what he can do. Blindness isn’t a weakness for Matt; it’s an incredible strength.

“Okay,” she whispers, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. They’re safe in here. So far, she hasn’t heard of any monsters breaking in to an apartment. Matt can change into normal clothing and get her tea. She can breathe. There aren’t any lizard mutts. And nothing, nothing she does will ever bring Finnick or the others back.

Katniss watches Matt until he’s out of sight and then stares blankly at the window they climbed through. Closing her eyes is tempting but also far too terrifying a prospect. She doesn’t want to relive that day in the Capitol. She holds his blanket close to her nose, breathing in the smell of Matt to keep her grounded in the present. It’s better that way. Better the now than the then.

Well, she's never had to see him in action. This place has been relatively safe until now, or at least it has been since Matt has been here. He'd been content enough for her to never find out what he's capable of as long as it meant she was safe. With his other abilities, she's right: blindness is a strength for him.

It doesn't take him long to take off the suit and change into soft sweat pants and a tee shirt. He puts the kettle on to boil then moves to sit on the couch next to her. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close.

"Do you want something to eat? I can do soup or maybe make a frozen pizza."

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Open | I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me

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