Closed to Adam Parrish | Christmas traditions

[fictor]

Ronan had very specific ideas of what Christmas should be like. His home and family life hadn't ever been like one of those old black and white movies (it'd been far too weird for that), but they'd had certain traditions; traditions that fell by the wayside when Niall died. If Matthew could get both Ronan and Declan into church for midnight mass, he counted himself lucky. Ronan had thought of that several hours earlier when he'd gone to midnight mass alone. It wasn't Adam's thing, and Ronan got that. Eventually, he'd ask Adam to go to church with him, but they weren't there yet and he wasn't sure how well he'd handle mass without Matthew (and Declan) but he knew he wasn't ready to invite someone new into this particular sacred ritual. He needed to be able to mourn Declan and Matthew in a way, to accept their absence from church, at least for the time being. He'd been here in Itinere a month and a half and hadn't stepped inside the Catholic church (though he wasn't surprised they had one; this place seemed to have everything they needed materially).

After coming home from mass, he'd spoken to Adam, mostly to let him know that he wasn't going to self destruct tonight then broken open the bottle of Irish whiskey he'd dreamed a few weeks ago. He'd spent the rest of the evening in the living room sprawled on the couch remembering every detail of a particular Christmas, the best Christmas he could recall. Matthew had been four; he'd been seven and Declan nine. Niall had swept in Christmas Eve like the piece of magic that he was with a small gift for them all and promises of a visit from Father Christmas. He'd been loving, attentive and in high spirits, plying their mother with kisses and emerald jewelry. He'd carried Ronan and Matthew on his shoulders to bed, read them bedtime stories and tucked them in with promises of Christmas morn'. He and Matthew had tried to catch Santa at work but despite all of their sneaking, they'd only found Niall asleep on the couch, a bottle of Irish whiskey at hand.

It wasn't simply nostalgia that drove Ronan to mirror Niall's actions so completely that Christmas. It was driven by the knowledge that Adam had never had a Christmas like that (never mind that no one outside of the Lynchs had ever had a christmas quite like that). It was the desire to let Adam experience not only a real Christmas, but a Lynch Christmas. It was Ronan opening a door to his life, to himself, that most people would never walk through. Piggybacked on that was the nostalgia for a life that had been so much simpler, a homesickness for home.

In any case, when Adam awoke Christmas morning (regardless of where he'd chosen to fall asleep given that Ronan had fallen asleep passed out on the couch downstairs) he would wake to a scene much like this where there had been no Christmas tree or presents. All of the presents have Adam's name on them. Among those presents were such things as sweaters, fingerless gloves for working, a space heater that ran on dream energy and glowed bright blue instead of orange, remote helicopters, a acoustic guitar and a tin of shortbread cookies (the cookies inexplicably warm). Chugging around the entire living area and all the presents is a model train. Chainsaw is busily picking at a pile of ribbons that might've once belonged to a present or perhaps they were simply dreamed to keep Chainsaw busy as she doesn't seem to be able to untangle them regardless of how long she works on them. In the kitchen he would find Ronan practically giddy (for Ronan) pouring a mug of hot chocolate from a carafe full of hot chocolate (and let's be honest, it's probably endless). There was also spread on the counter top (all piping hot) a full Irish breakfast. If he's got a hangover (he does), he's not showing it. He was mildly worried about Adam having dream hangover, but the ley lines are healthy right now, unbroken and strong. Besides, Ronan thought this was worth it. Without, comment he pushed a bottle of aspirin at Adam along with a small glass of juice.

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[fictor]

Ronan sees the laugh and recognizes it for what it is, but only because he's spent an unhealthy amount of time watching Adam. The problem is that if Adam expected anything different, he isn't likely to get it. Ronan could modify his behavior, but he couldn't change it. He couldn't change that he was more comfortable destroying things (and creating them) than he was doing anything else. He couldn't change that he liked to race cars and to fight; that he enjoyed doing things that gave him an adrenaline rush, but then Adam didn't expect him to change those things.

There's a moment of stunned silence simply because Adam asked, because Ronan hadn't thought of it in those terms before. After that heartbeat of silence, Ronan rolls his eyes at Adam. "The fuck else you think we're doing here?" There's a grin teasing at the corner of his lips. "Assuming you want to be." There's another heartbeat of silence before Ronan rushes to fill it. "I've never had one before." Maybe that explains those pockets of silence. it's got nothing to do with hesitation and more to do with worrying that he's answering Adam the 'right' way, that he's not giving him the wrong impression. If he's honest with himself, Adam has been his boyfriend in his mind for a while.

[adamparrish]

That moment of stunned silence from Ronan seems like so much more than a moment to him. It feels as if it stretches out for an eternity as Adam waits. He spends part of that eternity watching Ronan. Then when he realizes that he's watching Ronan, and that Ronan is watching him watch him, he looks quickly away. Adam has never been able to withstand Ronan's staring at him for long. Part of that is that he naturally cows under pressure. Part of it is that Ronan is always so intense, anyone would eventually buckle.

When he finally answers, Adam looks back up to catch that grin on Ronan's lips. The words sound like they're coming at him through a tunnel until Ronan says he's never had a boyfriend before. There's something thrilling in the idea that he would be Ronan Lynch's first boyfriend. There's something terrifying in hoping that he would be Ronan Lynch's last and only boyfriend. Adam Parrish isn't accustomed to hoping for anything.

He pulls his lip through his teeth while also pressing them together thoughtfully. And he nods. "Me either. I mean... either... not a boyfriend or a girlfriend." He trips over his words. He seems to think about that for another moment before nodding in agreement and looking back down to his present. "Cool." Merry Christmas, Ronan. You just got Adam to agree to be your boyfriend in a roundabout way.

[fictor]

Honestly, it's not Ronan's intention to stretch that moment out that way. It's a loaded question though, and Ronan had wanted to make sure he answered it the right way. He doesn't worry when Adam's gaze glances away from him. He's accustomed Adam's eyes moving away from him and he knows it's not because Adam doesn't want to look; it's because Adam can't look, not for long. Maybe he doesn't allow himself to do so or maybe because he doesn't think he should or maybe because he doesn't think he can. That's hardly the point.

He's glad Adam catches the grin. It's intended for Adam in any case. Ronan isn't even thinking about last boyfriends or forever. Of course, Ronan rarely thinks any further than a few hours at the most. He's thinking about now. He's thinking about the present, but Ronan is loyal; he's not interested in anything short term. He doesn't like change and he loves Adam Parrish.

He quirks an eyebrow at Adam's words. That's not what he had expected Adam to say, but then he'd never poked his nose into Adam's business enough to really know what Blue was to Adam. He nods a little and reached over to grab another present and tosses it into Adam's lap. This bracelet is inside. No big deal right? Except it's a huge deal, so Ronan totally acts as if it isn't.

The latitude and longitude on it is the coordinate for Cabeswater. The initials might be A P L but the L is a little worn and might be difficult to read.

[adamparrish]

With the boyfriend thing settled (mostly) Adam tries not to look too excited or giddy about it. Giddiness is not something that Adam likes to feel because he has little experience with it and has no idea what to do with it. But there's no denying the excitement inside that he's trying so hard not to let show even though it threatens to burst out and make a mess over this perfect little scene Ronan has put together for them.

Ronan Lynch is his boyfriend. And nothing has broken or exploded. The world is still turning on its axis. Adam Parrish is desirable.

The new gift, thankfully, gives him something to focus on besides the party going on inside of him. He starts to carefully work at the wrapping. But then after a glance up to Ronan, he rips through the ribbon and the paper. In the box inside, Adam findes the bracelet and picks it out. His head tilts to the side as he looks over the numbers and the letters.

There is no mistaking those numbers for anything else but what they are. They were numbers that every single one of them were intimate with. "Cabeswater." It was the most amazing thing. The bracelet was perfect. The A P L threw him off because of the L. He felt weird assuming that the L was for Lynch. And why was it more worn than the other two. He looked up to Ronan curiously. "I love this." No matter what, he loved it. It was suddenly the most precious thing he owned.

[fictor]

Mostly. Ronan would wonder if Adam regretted asking it, or the answer that Ronan gave. He would wonder if Adam wants to change his mind for weeks and perhaps longer (yes, Ronan has insecurities too. He's just not upfront about them). Christmas Morning is a perfect time for giddy and if Adam wants to make a mess of the scene Ronan set, the scene was set for Adam in the first place. He can do what he wants with it.

Ronan is equally as surprised that nothing has broken or exploded simply because destruction is Ronan's M.O. He's actually happy right now and nothing is exploding. Adam Parrish is his boyfriend and that's something he's wanted for longer than he can remember wanting something.

Focus is good and Ronan focuses on Adam opening the new gift as well. Whether Adam knows it or not, he's nervous about this gift. He remembers the bracelet, remembers grabbing it from the leylines and knows that it has Cabeswater coordinates on it. That part had been a conscious, intentional decision. However, when he'd grabbed it, thumb pressing over the L, he'd noticed the subconscious addition to the bracelet: A P L. Nerves actually caused a sick lurch of his stomach as he watched Adam rip the paper, tried to judge the expression on Adam's face.

Those nerves bleed away, a genuine if small (actual) smile slipping across his lips. Without warning, Ronan leaned over, his hand going to the back of Adam's neck so he could pull him into a kiss.

Definitely his boyfriend. Definitely stood for L.

[adamparrish]

Ronan pulls him into a kiss and this act is still new enough that Adam feels a lurch of his heart in his chest and just a step behind the kiss as he returns it. A part of him wishes he were a better kisser. A part of him hopes that he never gets entirely used to kissing Ronan Lynch. His boyfriend. Officially. Even that thought makes his chest feel tight with emotion that he isn't ready to explore.

But kissing. Kissing is something he can do.

Adam melts into it. Then speaks against Ronan's lips. "I think I have something at the shop..." He kisses him again. "To fix the L."

[fictor]

It is still new in a wonderful sort of way and it's obvious in the way Ronan kisses him that Adam's kissing abilities are just fine. Ronan's fingers slide up into Adam's hair as he kisses him. It's a lazy, languid sort of kiss something that isn't as hurried or desperate as some of their other kisses, but it's something infinitely more settled in a good way. It's comfortable and thrilling at the same time.

Ronan smirks against Adam's lips and pulls back marginally. "Yeah? Don't know why it came out all messed up." In some ways he does know why: his own insecurities and concerns about this relationship and Adam's commitment to it. However, he's not willing to voice those suspicions. "Dream things can be all sorts of fucked up. Least this one's mostly okay."

Considering the content of the last few days, there's bound to be some weird frustration dream things wrapped up in some of the boxes.

[adamparrish]

"It's not messed up." Adam almost sounded defensive about that even as the words spilled into another kiss that he gave to Ronan. It was getting harder and harder not to kiss Ronan every single time he wanted to, much less when Ronan initiated a kiss. So Adam had to kiss him now like he had to breathe in and out.

He looks into Ronan's eyes just briefly before he shakes his head and looks down. "You just knew how much I like to fix things. Will you put it on me?"

[fictor]

Ronan is perfect happy to kiss rather than talk. Words aren't his thing anyway. he's always spoke louder in action and more so after Niall's death. Kissing was, generally, a whole hell of a lot more fun than talking in Ronan's opinion. He liked kissing Adam. This is Ronan's first experience with this sort of kissing and it's just as addictive to him as it seems to be to Adam.

"Yeah, well...you're a freak like that," Ronan says softly, a little breathlessly as he takes the bracelet and reaches for Adam's wrist. He buckles it on, holding his wrist a moment longer, looking at the bracelet there.