itinere | Open + Closed | Let me live my life on hold

Entry tags:

Open + Closed | Let me live my life on hold

{open}

With the lights back on, life has continued on for Ronan as usual. He splits his time between Adam's garage (irritating the shit out of him) Monmouth Manufacturing (listening to music too loud, throwing things out the window, doing donuts in the parking lot and basically being Ronan), the apartment that he shares with Adam (doing--shhh it's personal) and The Barns (dreaming, researching dream things, making almost illegible notes about dream things). He also spends some time at the Houndstooth alternating between Guinness and whiskey, occasionally opting for a beer. It's during his time at the bar that he's most likely to start a fight simply for the sake of starting a fight. He drives the BMW far too fast between all of those places, parking wherever the fuck he likes because there aren't a great number of cars in Itinere. Ronan rarely walks anywhere because that's what cars are for. Almost everywhere he goes he is accompanied by a half grown raven sitting on his shoulder.

{closed to adam}

Ronan pulls the BMW into the empty garage bay that he suspects Adam keeps empty just for this purpose. The tires squeal as he stops and cuts the engine, getting out and slamming the door behind him.

"Garage is closed. Get your ass in the car. You're gonna go clean up and then we're going out."

Really, there's no sense in arguing with Ronan. Adam might as well argue with Roomba he's working on. Actually, the Roomba is more likely to respond positively to an argument with Adam.

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When Ronan throws things out the windows, chances are Noah's right by his side, tittering and snickering whenever whatever it is crashes into a million bits on the pavement below. Then he brings over something else to throw out the window so that the cycle continues. This time, it's an old boombox, old enough that it's got a tape player in it.

He chucks it out the window and leans over to watch it land and spit parts in all directions, laughing like crazy.

It's their favorite thing to do together. Of course, now Ronan doesn't throw Noah out the window for obvious reasons. When the boombox hits, exploding into all it's plastic pieces, Ronan laughs like a lunatic as well then turns to go find something else to throw out. His favorite things have glass components.

"Wonder if we're ever gonna run out of old shit to throw out these windows," he muses as he enters one of the store rooms that are full of crap.

"Then you just dream new stuff," Noah says. That seems the easy solution, right? "Or we just find a junkyard and bring it back, right?"

Since there isn't anything to buy and sell, they can always find more stuff ... right?

It would be the easiest solution. However, Ronan knows how hard Adam works to keep the ley lines strong so that he can dream. There's something wrong about dreaming things to break them. "I bet they've got some crazy shit in the junkyards here."

He's also considering that he could bring some of Niall's frustration dreams here and throw them out the window. He's not entirely sure how he feels about that just yet. Maybe he'll grab a few things and see how it feels.

"Maybe they've got future stuff and past stuff," Noah suggests. "Like ... old typewriters or real phones we could throw." He can actually remember those things - phones at least - from back in the day. They'd make a healthy crash.

Ronan smirks at that. The smirk turns into a sharp grin that promises destruction. "That would be fucking awesome." Now he's going to be on the hunt for either of those things. He wouldn't be surprised if they show up in his dreams tonight.

"You know what would be awesome?" Noah abruptly realizes, turning to give Ronan a bright grin. "An accordian."

"Fuck yes, an accordion. " Guess what Ronan is dreaming next time he can manage to fall asleep. "You know what else would be awesome? A drum set."

Now that they're on the subject of musical instruments.

"A harp!" Noah almost chortles the word because that would be heavy as hell, right? But what a crash it would make.

"A harpsichord," he giggles as he goes on, leaning a shoulder against Ronan's as he laughs. "A tuba ... "

How is this not hilarious?!

When Adam hears the familiar roar of the BMW, he quickly grabs a tarp and throws it over the half assembled motorcycle he's been working on for Ronan. He's tried so hard to keep it a secret and so far he's done so. Which, when thought about, is actually a miraculous thing with how Ronan piddles with everything when he's here. He moves to look like he's putting some tools away just as the BMW pulls in.

Adam does keep that bay open just in case. Because of course Ronan can never just walk over here no matter how close it is to the apartments. He has to drive every single time. The bay is pretty much Ronan's.

He knows there's no sense in arguing with his boyfriend. And yet, Adam is Adam. "I'm gonna do that, huh? Where are we going?"

It kind of is a miracle. However, most of the time Ronan respects things covered in tarps. No, that's not true. Most of the time Ronan doesn't find things covered in tarps interesting. He finds whatever Adam is currently working on interesting because it's not about snooping, it's about Adam paying attention to him. He's a lot like Chainsaw in that way.

Walking is for losers. Driving is a lot more fun.

"Bar. On a date." Yup. Ronan has decided they've hidden this thing between them long enough. It's time to go public. He's only sad that there are a lack of old ladies to to shock with unnecessary PDA.

"A date?" Adam stops what he's doing and looks back to Ronan. It isn't a bad look, just a surprised one. Ronan is so good at doing that though, at catching Adam off guard, at surprising him, at turning Adam's world around so that he sometimes doesn't know which way is up. He hasn't been on a date, not one that didn't end badly, ever. It's an idea that he takes a moment to wrap his mind around.

It doesn't take him too long though. He knows if he takes too long that Ronan will get pissed off at him. And if Ronan is in a good mood right now (a good mood for Ronan) then Adam wants to do what he can to keep him that way.

So he sets the tools in his hands down and grabs a greasy cloth from his back pocket to start wiping his hands and brow. "Okay."

"Yup." It's a decisive, solid answer. Ronan likes the surprised look on Adam's face. He's always liked putting that look on Adam's face and whether he admits it or not, one of his goals to turn Adam's world around at least once a week. And maybe Adam hasn't ever been on a date that didn't end badly, but he's never been on one with Ronan; Ronan has never been on a date period.

He definitely shouldn't take too long; it does piss Ronan off, but not because it makes Ronan angry, but because Ronan starts doubting himself. He starts believing that he's wrong about Adam's feelings for him, that he's being made a fool of.

When Adam says 'okay', a sharp, wide smile slices across Ronan's face. "You can shower back at the apartment." In that huge, ridiculous shower that Ronan dreamed for them. He starts the car up and guns the engine, waiting for Adam to get inside.

If anyone can keep him off kilter, and not necessarily in a bad way, it's Ronan. What Adam had felt for Blue had been very real. But she had never liked him back the way he had liked her. She had never seemed overly fond of him in the way he had been of her. He wasn't good enough for her. He gets that. Sometimes he doesn't even feel good enough for Ronan.

But what he feels for Ronan right now at this point in their relationship is something even more than what he had felt for Blue. Probably because Ronan actively likes Adam Parrish in return, even if he's not good enough. Probably because Ronan doesn't make Adam feel bad about being Adam Parrish. Probably because in spite of Adam, Ronan makes Adam feel better, like he's something more and as if he were worthy. This is the first time Adam has ever felt these things. And he knows he feels them because of Ronan Lynch.

It's so nice to be wanted just as you are. There's no way for Adam to ever repay all of this.

But he figures a date, out in the open, with his boyfriend, is a start. So he slips the dirty handkerchief into his back pocket and locks up the garage as Ronan pulls the BMW out of the bay. He closes the bay door too and locks it, then locks up the rest and gets into the passenger seat. Strangely enough, he doesn't worry about being too dirty to be in Ronan's clean, expensive car right now. He's just glad to be with Ronan.

"Will jeans and a tee shirt be okay?" Cause that's pretty much all he has aside from the tanks he works in and the nice sweater Ronan had gotten him. It's too hot for the sweater.

Off kilter is exactly where Ronan wants Adam. He's not sure what will happen when Adam isn't off kilter, when he's settled and thinking clearly about this relationship with Ronan. As for Adam not being good enough, Ronan calls bullshit. Adam is good enough for anyone and anything. He'll fight anyone who says differently, including Adam.

Actively likes Adam is a good way to describe Ronan's feelings for Adam. At this point, he's well aware that he is in love with Adam whether he wants to be or not. As far as he's concerned, there's no reason for Adam to feel bad about being Adam Parrish. Adam Parrish is an incredible creature. Few would ever believe it, but Ronan makes a point of trying to build Adam's self confidence, of giving him that. It's one way that he knows he loves Adam; it's not just about Ronan and what helps him. It's about Adam too. He wants Adam to know that he is wantable, lovable and that Robert Parrish is a raging asshole who was wrong about everything that ever came out of his mouth.

Adam doesn't have to repay it. Just love Ronan in return because, in some ways, that's all Ronan really wants, something he craves. He's dreamed a helpless baby bird and a helpless baby brother. Ronan wants to be loved unconditionally; he wants to protect and love as well.

Don't tell Ronan that this date is a payment of any kind; he wants Adam to want to go out on a date with him. However, he realizes that it's kind of a big step for both of them, more so for Adam because Ronan is aware that Adam still isn't confident of his sexuality. Not worrying about getting Ronan's car dirty is a step in the right direction. Ronan knows how to clean up the car and he doesn't care if Adam gets it greasy. He's glad to have Adam in the car with him.

He smirks at Adam's question. "Yeah. I'm wearing my usual." Because he likes the black tank top and expensive jeans he wears. It shows his tattoo and it's comfortable. His eyes narrow a little and he glances over at Adam as he drives. "Unless I look like a fucking idiot and you want me to wear something different." Witness Ronan being openly insecure for a moment. It's like a unicorn sighting.

There's nothing wrong with Ronan's usual attire. His jeans still cost more than Adam makes in a month. And strangely, Adam wouldn't be surprised if the black tank tops were a paycheck too. But Adam likes the way the tanks hug his slim torso and show off his tattoo. He likes the way the jeans hang just right so that sometimes he gets a glimpse of either skin or the waistband of his briefs.

"No, it's fine." The comment is lackluster compared to his thoughts on the matter. But that's the definition of Adam Parrish. He's like an iceburg with the tiny bit on top of the surface of the ocean and the massive amounts of ice underneath. What he says is nothing compared to what he thinks. And maybe the way his gaze slips to Ronan in an appreciative way that lingers longer than it should says more than anything else.

Also, if Ronan isn't dressed up then Adam doesn't have to worry about not being dressed up. Tee shirt and jeans are pretty much all he owns aside from that sweater Ronan got him for Christmas last year.

If Ronan can split his attention between driving and Adam, he might see that Adam is a little more alive than normal, a little more electric. He's excited and anxious about an actual date with Ronan Lynch out in the open. This will be a first for him, maybe for Ronan too. "What will we be doing?"

Ronan is aware of how much his clothing costs. He hadn't worn black tank tops and ridiculously expensive jeans before Niall had been killed. He'd dressed more like Gansey because that was how an Aglionby boy dressed. After Niall had died, he'd left most of his things in his closet at The Barns and gone out to buy everything new and different: expensive jeans, black tank tops, a leather jacket and a tattoo.

He doesn't expect effusive compliments from Adam. It'd only highlight that brief moment of insecurity and make Ronan feel like an idiot. He doesn't miss the way that Adam looks at him though, and that's more important than anything he can say.

Ronan likes Adam in tee shirts and jeans. He likes the way the various rips and holes in the jeans show off bits of Adam's skin, likes the way that he can feel Adam's body heat through the threadbare material of the tee shirts. He also likes that at least half of Adam's shirts are torn at the neck now because of Ronan.

Ronan is very good at splitting his attention between driving and anything else. Especially when he's driving at somewhat moderate (for him) speeds. Adam is more alive, more electric and Ronan hopes it's because they're going on an actual date. he hadn't been sure this was the best move. He hadn't been sure that Adam was ready for this. He's optimistic right now. "There's this bar. I figured we'd go there, drink, play pool. That sort of shit." His voice sounds decisive, but he's looking over to Adam for approval.

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