itinere | Closed to Raven Kids

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Closed to Raven Kids

Who: Raven kids
When: The entire month of July
Where: Mostly the Barns, but I'm okay with it being used for anywhere in town
Warnings: Let's just make it R for everyone's sake. It might have everything in it.

With the lights out, the month of July takes the shape of some sort of weird slumber party. During the day everyone goes about their business. Adam works, Gansey researches, Ronan bugs the ever living crap out of Adam. Noah and Blue do whatever Noah and Blue do. Ronan suspects they’re still adjusting to this place. He knows it’s got to be a big adjustment for Noah. It’s probably not an easy one for Blue either who’s more accustomed to being around the craziness of 300 Fox Way rather than the craziness of Monmouth.

He knows it’ll be awkward at first, but when the electricity fails Ronan suggests that everyone stay out at The Barns. There’s plenty of room and several things that don’t use electricity to work like toasters and one shower that never runs out of hot water. Ronan feels better having the people he cares about under one roof, particularly when they’re not sure what the hell else is going to happen. Gansey agrees readily enough, always happy to have all of his people close by.

While The Barns allow everyone the space they need so that no one is piled up on top of each other, it is lacking in bedrooms. There’s the bedroom that Niall and Aurora shared, Matthew’s bedroom, Ronan’s bedroom and Declan’s bedroom (they can draw straws for that one). Ronan didn’t give anyone (including Adam) a vote when he claimed his room for he and Adam. He told the others they could sleep wherever the hell they liked. The couch in the den was pretty damn comfortable.

The Barns are also cluttered with dream things. The house, for the most part, contains the bits and pieces that function properly. Aurora had seen to that. However, there’s an entire barn full of frustration dreams for everyone to explore. The animals still lie sleeping where they’d been when Niall had died. For the most part, Ronan doesn’t mind his friends picking through the things and exploring. Niall’s office in one of the barns is locked and it’ll stay that way. He’d prefer that no one touch the mask on the wall that he’d had that awful dream, but it’s really only off limits to Adam (who knows that by now).

Explore, settle in. Ronan really is happy to have everyone here, to be able to share this with everyone.

[You’ve all read the book. Feel free to make shit up about the Barns. If you’ve got questions, ask and I’ll do what I can to answer them. Treat this as a month long mingle. Play with it and have fun. Adam’s birthday thread down below]

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Ronan understands that as well. He doesn't hate himself the way that he used to, but he still has his moments, moments that have nothing to do with Adam or even whatever is going on with his life at the moment. It's just Ronan, like it's just Adam.

There's not any space, any air between them and Ronan is perfectly okay with that. He doesn't want any space, any air between the two of them. This is all that matters: the way Adam is kissing him, the way he's holding onto him.

A smirk plays over Ronan's lips even as he kisses Adam. He nips at Adam's bottom lip. "What fun would that be?" he asks between kisses. He thinks about this a lot. He'd had some ridiculous idea that the more he kissed Adam, the more he touched him, the more he was kissed and touched in return, the less he'd actually think about this. In fact, the reverse is true. Some days it feels like this is all he thinks about. He wants to do this and nothing else for the rest of his life.

He lets Adam press him up against the wall of one of the tiny little cabins. There's a bed shoved against the other wall, but right now, Ronan isn't interested in the bed. He's only interested in the wall at his back, Adam's hands at his sides and his lips against his. "And if I were?"

There is nothing between him and Ronan in this moment. No air. No space. Minimal clothing with Adam's threadbare tee. None of the other people spread out on this boat somewhere. None of them are in this room with them, which says a lot. Because their presence is often felt even without their being physically in the room with them.

Of course Ronan has been intentionally teasing him, baiting him. Adam isn't sure why the realization hasn't occurred to him before. It should have. It's just like Ronan to do that. And Adam has fallen for it hook, line and sinker several times, in hindsight. In his defense though, it's hard not to fall for Ronan Lynch every damn day at this point, aggravatingly so.

The progression of his fingertips up is slow, moving up Ronan's sides, bumping over each rib. He smirks into Ronan's mouth at his words, a breathy puff of air before he kisses him again. He wants Ronan. And it's his birthday, so why shouldn't he have him? Because they aren't alone on the boat? Maybe.

"If you were..." His fingertips slide back down. "I think you're in trouble... or triumphant, whatever." Dipping his head, his teeth latch on to the side of Ronan's neck before suckling the skin there into his mouth as one index finger curls into the waistband of Ronan's swim trunks and circles around to the front. In the back of his mind he knows he's purposefully leaving bruising marks on his neck, like planting a flag, like claiming what's his. This is mine. Adam Parrish was here!

If Ronan had his way this is how it would always be. He wants his other friends here; he needs them in a way that he's aware isn't entirely healthy, but when he and Adam are in a room together, he almost always wishes it were just he and Adam, no space, no air between them. He can feel the heat of Adam's body through that thin tee shirt and somewhere up above he can hear the others. Those are both comforting things in different ways. There is nothing he would change about this moment right now.

He's not sure why that didn't occur to Adam before either. It really should have. It's a slightly bolder version of what Ronan does every day: showing up at his garage, bugging the shit out of him, watching him so intently that it can't be construed as anything except a come on, a silent wish that they were in a less public place. Ronan figures Adam has him falling for him every day, making himself vulnerable, going against the carefully crafted, intimidating facade that he puts up; it's only fair that Adam falls for Ronan every day. This, Ronan thinks, is what love is supposed to be. He wonders sometimes (not right now though) if it's this way for Gansey and Blue.

That slow progression makes Ronan growl low in his throat, growl into Adam's kiss. They may not be alone on the boat, but their alone in this room and Ronan says it's Adam's birthday; he should get what he wants. The fact that Ronan wants it as well only solidifies this decision.

"Definitely triumphant," Ronan growls. "We're going to have to teach you the difference between the two." Except with Ronan, the difference is much less different than with other people. In fact, sometimes trouble and triumph probably do look exactly the same with Ronan. When Adam starts suckling at his neck, Ronan's hands fist in Adam's tee-shirt and he lets loose a string of effortless, poetic curse words, hips bucking up into Adam. He knows that Adam is leaving a mark there and that's important.

"Careful, Parrish. You're gonna give me a hicky." And it doesn't take much on Ronan's Irish pale, blue-white skin. In fact, he's probably already got one. It's clear by Ronan's tone of voice that he relishes the fact that Adam is leaving marks on him. It's almost a warning: he's not going to hide this.

Sometimes Adam feels so wrong and bad and selfish for feeling that way, for wishing that he and Ronan had had a bit more time just to themselves, for wishing that he'd had a bit more time to make peace with how he feels about himself and Ronan. Would there ever really be enough? It's like he's at war with himself because there is always, always, always that part of him that wants and needs Gansey, Noah and Blue. He needs them all. He wants Ronan, only Ronan. How does that even make sense?

It does seem like he falls for Ronan every day. Most mornings he wakes up and Ronan is there. He realizes he didn't imagine it. Everything becomes real again. It's the mornings when Ronan has been plagued by insomnia and isn't there when Adam panics. Anxiety becomes a very real thing. All he has to do is have Ronan notice him to make it better though. Sometimes Adam stands there, silent, for what feels like forever until Ronan looks his way. They become real again. He didn't imagine it.

He's definitely not imagining now as he tastes Ronan's skin. Only belatedly does he realize that Ronan means that as a warning. Be careful, because Ronan won't hide what Adam is doing. He hesitates only a moment, his lips are still, only his warm breath against Ronan's skin. Then he decides to beat Ronan at his own game and slips down to his knees. His fingers curl in the waistband of Ronan's swim trunks at one side and pull down just a bit for Adam's mouth to latch onto skin that no one else would see unless Ronan decided nudity was the way to go (or maybe a speedo) (just say no to speedo's, Ronan). He's already done damage to Ronan's skin at his neck, but he didn't stop to look on his way down here.

Ronan is far too selfish to feel bad about that. He's always spent a good deal of time alone anyway and Gansey likes his own time alone to research and be a seventy year old Malory in an 18 year old's body. It's what made living at Monmouth work for the both of them. Ronan feels the same way about the group. He needs all of them, even Blue. He only wants Adam like this. He's only ever wanted Adam like this.

Ronan is only slightly aware of the anxiety that Adam feels when he wakes up alone. He makes sure he's at least in the house, usually making bacon or coffee by the time Adam wakes up. Sometimes when he's got insomnia, he'll sit up in bed and listen to music, but he doesn't want to keep Adam up with music that's too loud and an inability to sit still. He always grins when he catches Adam there, watching him and yells at him to come and eat, dickface, or some other appropriate sort of insult that is Ronan saying 'I love you' without using the words. Adam didn't imagine it. He is loved by Ronan Lynch.

In fact, he'll probably flaunt the marks Adam leaves him for all the reasons that Adam is leaving marks. It's one of the reasons Ronan kisses Adam the way he does. Sometimes after their makeout sessions, Adam looks like he's been in a fight, lips swollen, a little bruised, sometimes almost split. When Adam drops to his knees, Ronan's grin goes predatory. When Adam's teeth and lips catch the skin just below his hipbone, that grin falls away in favor of a groan. He reaches down to put one hand at Adam's shoulder, fisting the tee shirt he's still wearing in one hand.

That...might have been the sound of fabric ripping. Oops?

Looking like he's been in a fight is natural for Adam. It fits with him, almost unnoticeable, in the same way that the smudginess fits with Noah, in the same way money fits with Gansey, in the same way that douchebag fits with Ronan. Only those swollen bruises are given to him out of something other than hate and anger, something that Adam now feels like he needs. Ronan can always kiss him as hard and as rough as he wants.

It's another moment when Adam feels powerful at whatever sound Ronan makes just then as Adam leaves bruises with his mouth at the other's hip. He made Ronan sound like that. He wants to do it again. He wants to hear it again and know it's because of him. It that its own form of predatory? Maybe. He isn't sure. But it's something that Adam has never felt before. Powerful. Knowable. Wanted.

The tear of his shirt makes him pause and smirk. "Asshole." He mutters the word against Ronan's skin over the dark purple and blue marks he's left. And as he does, he becomes all too aware of how close he is to... yes. Can he? Would he be any good at that? Should he?

Blue eyes looking up at Ronan along his long torso, he tentatively rests one hand there over his swim trunks. He presses. He touches. He kneads, looking for any sign that he should stop. Then his fingers curl in the waistband at Ronan's front just underneath his navel and he starts to pull down. He doesn't say anything. He's barely breathing, afraid of being told no, of being rejected.

It's funny how their lives shape them even when they're no longer living those lives. Ronan never bruises him or scrapes him out of anger or hate. With Adam, it's always love. It's probably part of what makes them work; they both need that roughness, that hardness in their lives. Neither of them know how to form a life without it for very different reasons. However, Adam is teaching Ronan gentleness; it shows in little ways.

It's taken Ronan a while, and many makeout sessions, to realize that these moments give Adam confidence, make him feel powerful. Since realizing that, he's less likely to suppress those noises, those groans, growls and curses. It is a sort of predatory, different from the aggressiveness that Ronan often displays. However, he's found a certain pleasure in letting Adam be the aggressive one.

Ronan can't help but chuckle a little at Adam's insult. He's torn so many of Adam's shirts at the neck. It's his own sort of claiming and possessiveness, not that he doesn't leave marks on Adam's skin as well often enough. Ronan's thoughts hadn't skipped there quite yet. He's far too lost in the feeling of Adam's lips and teeth against his skin, too focused on the moment to look ahead. As expected, given the situation, he's got a raging hard on. At one time he might have been embarrassed at the reaction Adam got out of him, but he's woken up this way too often, pulled away from Adam in the middle of a heavy makeout session short of breath and ready to explode too many times to be embarrassed anymore.

It's not until Adam looks up at him that Ronan begins to entertain the thought of what comes next. He looks down at Adam, his eyes filled with want and need, but also a little bit of fear. He's never done this before and it's a huge step in his physical relationship with Adam; it's a huge step for Adam and in Adam's acceptance of his sexuality. Despite that, there's nothing in Ronan's expression that says stop. His hand curls tighter in Adam's shirt and he's struggling against an instinct to arch his hips up. When Adam starts to pull his trunks down, Ronan can't help it any longer. He exhales, a heavy, needy, keening sort of sound. "fuckadamplease."

Definitely not no. Definitely not rejecting him.

It's terrifying, in all reality, just the prospect of it. But it's also exciting. And in the moment, it's a part of that power play that Adam is feeling. If Ronan lets him, how will Ronan react to it? Will Adam be any good at it? Doing this would pretty much cement his and Ronan's physical relationship. It would be the first step in pushing that forward. Adam feels like he's looking down over the edge of a cliff so high off the ground that he can't see the end of the fall.

But if Ronan lets him, then he's falling with Ronan. Together. As a couple.

Right now his entire attention is on Ronan, on that expression and the emotions that filter across his features. But in the back of his mind, he's remembering those times that his father had spent part of his paycheck (Adam's paycheck) on porn. He's remembering the nights he had come home late and caught it on the television, his dad too drunk to notice his son was standing there, stunned, or that his son was even home at all. It hadn't been a boy doing these things to another boy. But he got the general idea. He can do this. And in this moment, he wants to try.

So when Ronan finally answers in that way, in that tone, with that look in his eyes, Adam exhales a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He's doing this. His gaze lowers again as he pulls that waistband down enough to free Ronan down to his thighs. He's toppling over that cliff, a free fall into the abyss. His heart is thrumming in his ears as he glances up to Ronan with a silent request to fall with him in his eyes. Then he licks from base to tip before his gaze drops again and he takes him into his mouth.

Terrifying and exciting are excellent words to describe this moment. Oddly, as helpless as Ronan feels right now, as pinned by his desire as he is, he doesn't feel trapped or angry because of it. Ronan has no doubt that Adam will be good at this, but in the end it probably won't matter much. It'll likely be over incredibly quickly, but it will change their physical relationship. Ronan feels like he's standing on the edge of that cliff as well, toes curled over, wind buffeting him, breath held.

Together. That much is certain from Ronan's point of view.

Right now, Ronan is as intent on Adam. He doesn't realize that he's holding his breath as well, that his entire body is a taunt wire, strung that way by a mix of desire and fear. He's watched plenty of porn in his time, both women and men, though he prefers the gay porn.

His breath releases in a groan when Adam pulls his trunks down. His hips arch a little away from the wall, twitching with anticipation. When Adam's tongue is actually on him he gasps again oh God, letting go of Adam's shirt to press his palms back against the wall. He feels breathless, like he's coming to pieces when Adam's mouth is actually on him and he doesn't have the ability to speak even if he knew what to say.

As with most everything Adam does, he overthinks it. He wants so badly to do this well, to make Ronan feel good. And at the same time he's shocked that he's doing this. He's really doing this, crossing that line that they had both only danced around so far. There's no turning back from it. Somehow, it even seems to solidify things between them, at least from Adam's side of things.

In hindsight, he never would have thought he would be the first one to cross this line. But then again, Adam has always jumped in on impossible things; Aglionby, Cabeswater, Blue and now Ronan. All things that he should never have tried to have because of who he is, although three out of four isn't bad. People like him don't usually get to have things like that. And yet...

Here he is on his knees telling Ronan how he feels through action rather than words. They both know that Adam wouldn't do this for just anyone. He wouldn't be this way with just anyone. He doesn't idolize just anyone. He doesn't have a serious crush, and if he's honest with himself, more than a crush, on just anyone. It's Ronan. Only Ronan. Always Ronan.

It takes him a bit to get the mechanics of it down, to set a rhythm. Mouths don't naturally work that way, he thinks. It takes some thought before he has it right, when to do what. And every time Ronan makes a sound like that, Adam tries to repeat what he'd just done. A lick to the underside along that throbbing, pronounced vein. Pushing is tongue into the head. Sucking a little harder with each pull. When he tastes that first salty sweet drop of pre, he thinks he can keep going. But then there's more and he suddenly isn't sure what to do so he pulls his mouth off and replaces it with his hand to keep working him. His gaze is turned upward to watch Ronan, to see the look on his face and commit it to memory.

Adam feels like he's flying high, as if he were the one being touched like this. He's aroused and thrilled and overwhelmed. His own breath is heavy too. Because this is the most intense moment in his entire life that can also be considered a good thing, he thinks. This is a good thing, right? He pushes anything that Robert Parrish might have to say against it to the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind.

Seriously, there is pretty much no way Adam could mess this up. Ronan has no expectations for this because he has nothing to compare it too. It solidifies things for Ronan as well. Somehow this gives him a little more confidence in their relationship, a little more confidence that this is real; Ronan isn't Adam's only choice, or his second choice. This changes everything between them in a good way.

Ronan never expected Adam to cross this line first either; he didn't expect they'd cross this line for sometime despite all of the making out and messing around they'd done in bed and in the BMW. Ronan sort of thought that Adam would always be this thing he wanted from a distance, never something that he got to have so up close, personal and real.

With Ronan, actions speak so much louder than words. He's all action, words only serving as icing. He's incredibly aware that Adam would only do this for him and he doesn't know how he's going to repay it. Adam isn't the only crush he's ever had, but he's the only person he's ever been in love with. That has to count for something.

In all honesty, Ronan doesn't last long once Adam gets that rhythm down. He's all fire and coming apart, dissolving into more pleasure than he ever imagined he could feel. He tries to hold it together as long as possible, tries to put a damper on that explosion that's building inside of him, but it's a fruitless effort and when he looks down at Adam, he doesn't want to hold back anymore. It doesn't matter that Adam's hand replaces his mouth because Ronan is already mostly there and he looks into Adam's eyes as he comes, unable to hold back any longer. His knees go out from underneath him and he slides down the wall. He reaches out to pull Adam to him, wanting him close right now, needing him close right now.

Give him just a second to catch his breath, Adam and he'll return the favor. Also, fuck Robert Parrish 'cause he's got nothing to do with any of this.

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