itinere | open

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[ OPEN ]

The newly opened mechanics shop in Itinere might not look like much from the outside looking in. But one should never judge a book by its cover. Adam Parrish has never met a broken thing that he didn't know how to fix. He was a tinkerer, a repair man, a fixer of most things. He was the Magician. Inside, one only needed to glance around to find items of all sorts from motorbikes to radios, from lamps to engines, from heating and cooling units to bicycles. Things came into Parrish's Garage and they always left repaired. Given the recent cold snap and snow, there were space heaters littered about the space since the large garage door was open to allow customers in. Music was playing from a radio that looked like it came from ancient times. The boy inside was busily hunched over one project or another. Anyone was welcome to disturb him.

[ CLOSED to RONAN LYNCH ]

The snow was an unexpected surprise. Adam had noticed the strangeness about it, the fact that it continued and continued to snow and yet it never piled up more than what would be appropriate on the front of a Christmas card or in a Norman Rockwell painting. For days since it had started Ronan had been bugging him to go out and go sledding in it. Adam had adamantly refused because getting Adam to do things outside of his comfort zone always took some coercion. For days Ronan hadn't let it rest either mentioning it vicariously or outright until finally Adam caved. Adam always caved when Ronan really seemed to want to do something.

This was how Adam found himself bundled up and out in the cold. He had on a thick coat, a scarf, a wool cap and some snow boots that Ronan had dreamed for him. It was freezing outside and Adam still looked up at the snowfall with a hint of skepticism. He looked down at the trash can lid in Ronan's hand and shook his head. "Okay, nope. That's not a sled." He proceeds to turn on his heel and start back to the apartment building.

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"The fuck. You want to make me a grocery list now," Ronan smirked as he shoved his hands in his pockets and started for the apartment. His shoulders were bunched up against the cold. He looked back at Adam, pausing so that he can catch up with him. He wasn't sure how this was all going to play out or what was going to happen once they got to the apartment. It made him a little nervous to be honest.

Adam had to run a bit to catch up with Ronan because he had lingered just a bit to look for that wool cap to no avail. Once he caught up though his hands were shoved into the pockets of his coat too, feet crunching in the snow. He watched the ground as they walked.

"There's probably a shop somewhere I can find another one." But really, getting Adam to spend money on anything that wasn't an absolute necessity was like asking a cat to bark like a dog. It just wasn't going to happen.

Ronan smirked, shaking his head at Adam's comment. "Long as you can handle the hangover, I can handle the list." There was a reason that Ronan got all the real groceries in the house and order the pizza and the Chinese takeout.

Once they were inside the apartment, Ronan went straight to the laundry room, grabbing up a pair of sweatpants and a black tanktop. He changes out of his wet clothes trying not to think too much about Adam doing the same thing in their bedroom. He's trying not to put too much pressure on this moment, trying not to overthink it, but it's a big deal. That moment out in the snow had been a big deal. The fire is just starting to catch when Adam walks into the room. Ronan turns to look at him, that particular look sweeping across his face, that one that looks like he's devouring Adam with his eyes.

"You look hot." The words slip out from between his lips of their own volition.

Inside the apartment, Adam watched Ronan turn to the laundry room. In fact, he watched until Ronan was out of sight before going to their bedroom. In there he shed his coat, gloves, scarf and the rest of his snow drenched clothes. Make no mistake that snow had gotten everywhere in the same way that sand tended to do when there was an excess of it and one rolled around in it or tumbled down a slope of it, whatever the case may be.

He changed into a pair of sweats and a white tank that Ronan had provided him. Ronan provided him with everything, it seemed. And so if Adam hadn't already had Ronan on his mind (he did because yes something big had just happened between them out in the snow), he would have anyway when he changed clothes. He joked with himself that it might be some big conspiracy by Ronan to make Adam think about him.

Adam walked back into the living room and watched Ronan as he poked at the fire until Ronan noticed him and looked in his direction. Normally this was where Adam would have looked away. But the way in which Ronan looked at him leveled him so that Adam couldn't look away. He lifted his hand and scratched at the back of his head over his messy, dirt colored hair. Three words shouldn't make his chest feel tight and his heart skip a beat. But they did.

"Thanks." Adam said. "So do you." Normally Adam might have stammered and awkwardly side-stepped whatever Ronan said to him like that. But for some reason, the honesty was just tossed right back at Ronan. And that left Adam reeling. "I mean... you... you know. Hot as in good." His lips thinned as he pressed them together to keep himself from saying anything else.

Ronan could feel Adam's eyes on him and it was a new experience (either being watched by Adam or being able to feel his gaze on him; he's not sure which). It was something that he liked. Ronan was equally as drenched; he'd had to drape everything over the counters for fear of it mildewing if he left it in a pile on the floor.

It wasn't necessarily a conspiracy so much as it was a knowledge that Adam wouldn't buy clothes for himself and Adam needed clothes. He needed clothes to lay around in, to sleep in. He needed clothes to wear out when he and Adam went to do things. He even needed old tee shirts and jeans to work in. They'd both come here with the clothes on their back and little else. He tried to make sure that the things he dreamed (or picked up in the shops) were Adam's style and it spoke to his attention to detail (or to the intensity he watched Adam with) that most of the time he succeeded. If that made Adam think of Ronan, well...so be it.

It was different that Adam didn't look away and Ronan wasn't certain whether it was because of something he was doing or because of what had happened in the snow. Yes, they'd kissed before here but out in the snow they'd been making out. There was a difference and not only had they been making out, they'd come back here to do it again. Maybe that shift had given Adam the confidence to look at him. He didn't know. Ronan pressed his lips together watching Adam.

Ronan smirked at Adam's words, shaking his head at the compliment. "I think you're the first person to tell me that." Most people thought Ronan was too sharp, too dangerous looking. Everything about him was a warning to back off, to keep their distance. That took precedence in their minds over the fact that he had been blessed with the Lynch good looks. He took a step toward Adam, bare feet silent on the wood floor.

"I thought that the first day I noticed you, that you were hot, in Latin class. You knew the answer. No one in Latin but me has known the answer...ever."

Ronan had done better than him. In the name of getting back to Ronan more quickly, Adam had left all of his things in a pile on the floor in their bedroom. He probably should have brought it into the laundry room but well, it would mildew on their floor because he was a boy who liked another boy and wanted to be where that other boy was.

Who could look away from an intense stare like that? Adam couldn't. And didn't until Ronan finally spoke. Once Ronan spoke it did something to break the spell and Adam looked away and moved in closer to the fire. He knelt in front of it, a foot or so away from Ronan. "I can't believe no one's ever told you that." He says. Not girls who didn't know Ronan liked boys? Not boys who noticed Ronan liked boys? Not Kavinsky? "You're you."

Adam stared into the fire, focusing intently on it now. But he could feel Ronan next to him, close, just as warm as any fire. He smirks. "You didn't even know who I was until Gansey dragged me to Monmouth like a lost puppy he found." Adam joked, waiting for Ronan to joke with him. But when he doesn't, Adam realizes that Ronan was telling the truth.

Adam remembered his first few weeks in Aglionby, how nervous he had been, how much less than others he felt. But he had studied so hard and worked ten times harder than an of the others to be as good as, better than, perfect. "Well... I studied a lot."

Eventually it'd get picked up and tossed in the laundry, if not by Ronan and Adam, by the cleaning service that the apartment provided. Ronan would be flattered (and feel smug and excited) that Adam had wanted to be where he was. He would also be pleased to know that Adam was figuring out that he liked him.

He couldn't tell you since Ronan didn't look at anyone else that way. When Ronan stared at most people it was with the intent of intimidating them, of chasing them away. He shrugged both shoulders at Adam's expression of disbelief. "For the last couple of years, I've been trying to push people away, not fishing for compliments." And before that, he'd been too young to notice what anyone else said or thought. And Kavinsky...well that'd been more of a hate relationship than the sort of relationship that complimented one another. They'd both known they should hate each other.

"I'd already told Gansey about you. Bitched at him 'cause you were doing as well in Latin as I was." He crouched down as well then sat, feet folded up underneath him. "Is it okay when I kiss you? Like I did outside?"

He was aware he was being more honest, more forthright with his questions and using more words than he generally did, but he couldn't bring himself to stop talking.

"Yeah but..." Adam shook his head, somehow stopping himself from repeating the words 'you're you' to him again. Because from Adam's perspective, Ronan was a catch in every way. Even with Ronan's pushing people away, he was still a catch for anyone. Adam had never met anyone so giving without being obtuse about it, so brave without being an idiot about it and so loyal without being overbearing about it as Ronan Lynch. That overshadowed anything else in his book.

He couldn't even believe that Ronan spoke to Gansey about him before Gansey had brought him back to Monmouth that first time. He couldn't believe that Ronan noticed him at all, the boy in a second hand uniform and tattered books with dirt on his skin and grease under his fingernails. It just didn't compute in Adam's head, not that he would complain about it. It made him feel good, probably better than it should as it was something right next door to hubris. Ronan Lynch noticed him; Adam Parrish.

The honest question catches him by surprise. Adam initially draws in a breath to answer and lifts his chin to nod. But then he hesitates as he starts to over-think it as he does so many things. He falters there in silence. But he doesn't look like anything is wrong, just like he's thinking. He wants to say yes, it is more than okay and please do it more. But then what does that make him? What does that mean for him and his sexuality? Adam is still grappling with that and it alone is what gives him pause.

Finally, he actually nods. But he still has that look of too much thought on his face when he does. "Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. I like it. It's just..." He hesitates again before continuing. "I don't really understand what that means... for me or for us."

Ronan would actually be horrified if anyone but Adam thought those things of him. He didn't want to be a catch. He'd leave that to Declan, who clearly enjoyed the role. As for those bits and parts of him that Adam saw that made him a catch, that surmounted everything else, those were pieces that only Adam saw. Even Gansey only saw a part of that, the loyalty that Adam had recognized in him. Most of the time, Gansey only sees the idiocy in Ronan's bravery. And everyone else in (living) in Henrietta only saw Gansey's pit bull, a Lynch brother to steer clear of.

Occasionally Ronan did use words with Gansey, mostly because Gansey gives him that disappointed, worried look and prods Ronan into telling him bits about his day in order to assure him that he's not going to self destruct. Ronan had mentioned the asshole that showed him up in Latin. He'd lied and sworn he couldn't remember the asshole's name. It wasn't long after that that Gansey had brought Adam back to Monmouth all but wrapped as a present for Ronan. Everyone needed a little hamartia in their lives. As long as it didn't get out of control (and with Adam that was a given) they'd both be okay.

Ronan doesn't mind giving Adam the space to think about his answer. Even with the snow affecting him the way it is, he knows it's not an easy question. It helps that Adam's expression is one of thought rather than one of wrongness. He can guess at some of the questions going through Adam's head.

There's a still moment between them before Ronan moves a bit closer to Adam. He shakes his head at Adam's words. "What do you want it to mean?" He looks up to Adam, eyes catching against his. "You're my friend. I don't have very many friends so that doesn't change no matter what. I don't..." He seems to bite his words, an attempt of some sort to stop the flood of words. "Outside of that...I don't get it. Does it matter if you like guys or girls? You like me. That's what I care about. That's..." he shakes his head again, hands scrubbing over his freshly shaved head. "Explain it to me."

Right now, because of the snow, because of the moment, because Ronan wants this so damn much he's open and raw, vulnerable in a way that he very rarely ever is.

Honestly, Adam would be surprised by knowing that he saw things in Ronan that even Gansey didn't see. He thought Gansey and Ronan to be so close, thick as thieves, this impenetrable wall of two individuals that could never, ever be broken. Not that Adam would want to break it. And not that that wasn't exactly as Adam felt that they should be. But Adam had always had a sense that he was on the outside looking in with them. Part of that, he knew, was his own fault. But it didn't change how Adam had felt. Maybe the invisible and quiet one who saw more than he ever let on had something working in his favor where Ronan was concerned.

As far as Adam could see it was already past out of control. If his father ever knew that he liked a boy, there would be Hell to pay. What would Gansey think? Did Adam care what Gansey thought? Yes, a part of him did care. And Ronan... someday Ronan would see how ugly he was inside. The boy who came from dirt, who was raised with barely more than nothing, who was more bruised and bloody on the inside than he had ever been on the outside, the boy who asked Ronan to dream terrible, ugly things. What would happen when Ronan noticed all of that? Adam's insecurities, born of all the negative things he'd had all his life, were every bit the terrible creatures that Ronan's Nightmares were. They needed no teeth or claws, only thought.

Ronan moves closer to him and Adam has to look up at him with the shift. It's just a glance, but it's what he can do for the moment. He looks back into the fire and one shoulder lifts in a shrug. Was it really that simple? To say what he wanted it to mean and it would mean that thing? Adam wanted to believe that they would be friends no matter what. He and Blue had remained friends even if it got a little rocky for awhile. Although to be fair, a part of that was Ronan's doing, appropriately enough, as he and Kavinsky dreamed over and over again before knowing what it would do to Adam and Cabeswater.

"I guess it doesn't matter that I like you. It shouldn't." Adam added the later with a shake of his head. How did he tell Ronan that he could already hear words, derogatory words, that his father would say if he found out? How did he tell Ronan that in the most Stockholm sort of way he still loved his dad and cared about what he said and thought, that if he were still at home he would still be trying to please him? How did he say all that. "I've never liked a boy before." That didn't even begin to get close to scraping the surface.

"I uhm... I don't know what to do with it. I want you. I want your kisses and to be close to you when we sleep at night. Sometimes I want to hold your hand. I just... don't know what to do with how I feel and I always over-think it." He pauses. "And then these other thoughts get in the way. That you're better than me. That you deserve better than me." When he finally looked up to Ronan, there was that same sort of vulnerability in his eyes. If Ronan reacts to this in the wrong way, he's pretty sure he would run out of the room and just keep on running. "I worry... about my parents finding out. He would be so cruel about it. I know it. But I would hope so much... just like I always do. Like some stupid masochist... knowing the outcome will hurt but hopin' for somethin' different. I can hear him in my head. All the time. Anytime I'm doin' something I know he wouldn't like. Sometimes just... for no reason, I hear him. Do you know what he would do with knowin' you and me were together?"

Ronan and Gansey are thick as thieves. Gansey is his brother, more so than Declan ever has been, but Gansey is too wrapped up in who he used to be to see clearly who he is right now. Besides, Gansey is terrified of the Ronan he was right after Niall's death and he's looking so hard for that Ronan, he doesn't see the man he's become. It's not that Gansey doesn't want to see the person Ronan has become; he's afraid that Ronan will backslide and this time he wants to be there to stop him. In any case, Adam sees more of who Ronan is rather than who Ronan was.

Ronan could tell him, if it was brought up, that Gansey didn't give a rats ass. It had never been discussed (because it wasn't a big deal) but Gansey knew that Ronan was gay. He probably always had. As for the rest of it, did Adam think Ronan was completely oblivious? This boy that could dream objects down to scratches in the paint? To the numbers in a contact list? Down to the watermark on a passport? Ronan didn't miss anything. If Adam sees Ronan for who he really is, Ronan sees the same in Adam. He knows all of that and he doesn't care. In fact,some of those things are part of Adam's appeal: the tenacity and willpower it takes to get to Aglionby from where Adam was, that's admirable as far as Ronan is concerned. Adam is a broken creature, but so is Ronan and he thinks that's why they fit so well. Neither of them have any hope of being unbroken, nor are they interested in making certain the other is unbroken either. It's the breaks that make them both interesting (in Ronan's opinion). Ronan would hate to see the night terrors Adam would dream if he could dream.

Maybe it isn't that simple, to speak what he wanted it to mean, but it's a place to start. Right now, Ronan feels like they're walking on uncertain ground. He never knows when it's going to fall out from underneath him, never knows when Adam is going to change his mind and decide that this is just a phase he's going through. There are few things Ronan is certain of, but the ability to remain friends with Adam regardless is one of them simply because he's got no other choice. Much the way Cabeswater needed Blue and Adam to work together, he needs Adam and not just to fix the ley lines, but because Ronan's world is fragile and it only works with Adam in it.

Ronan nods a little, trying to decide how to take Adam's words, trying to see the motivation and the emotion behind them. He has that intense sort of look on his face as he listens to Adam, gives him the space to say his words, to get it all out before he speaks.

When Adam says that he thinks Ronan is better than him, he snakes one hand out, grabbing Adam's wrist and wrapping his fingers around it. "You're a stubborn dickface so I know arguing the merits of 'better' with you isn't going to do a damn thing. I don't give a fuck what I deserve. God'll sort that out when I die, but I want you and all of your stubborn dickface-ness. I want this whole damn mess. I want you to kiss me and touch me and sleep in bed with me and I want it..." he stops a moment, shaking his head, "forever and now you're an asshole for making me sound like a god damn movie," but he's got the ghost of a smirk on his face. It fades immediately when he has to address the part about Adam's parents. "Do you know what I would do to his face if he said one damn word about it?" The latter is growled. "You're not your father, Adam. Just like I'm nothing like Declan, who happens to fucking know. His nose is crooked now and he doesn't say a damn thing anymore. " Which isn't the point. He runs his free hand over his head again. "They're not here and they'll never know what happens here." His stomach roils with the idea of Adam's parents never knowing, or with the idea of that being the reason that he doesn't end up with Adam. "Yeah, it hurts. I get it because it makes me wonder that if Declan doesn't like it, what would Dad say and I do care about what he thinks, but..." he stops and shakes his head. "It would hurt to know you want me and never be with you because of him too."

He lowers the hand on his head and watches Adam a moment. "I'm not pressuring you or giving you ultimatums. I'm just asking you to do what makes you happy, at least here. When we get back...we'll decide what to do then."

Adam had seen very few movies. He couldn't ever afford to go to the movie theater and they didn't have cable. When his dad had been watching whatever was on TV, Adam had scooted right on past to go hide in his room to study or out to tinker with the cars. Needless to say his experience with 'god damn movies' were limited. But if this was what they were like, with Ronan telling him he wanted him, mess and all, forever, then Adam didn't see how they could be so bad.

The words sent a flutter of nerves through him as Ronan held his wrist and spoke so genuinely and evenly. In the back of his mind he could tell something was off with the sheer amount of words they were tossing back and forth between each other, but right now Adam couldn't make himself truly care about that even if he wanted to... which he didn't. All he wanted to do was put those words on repeat to hear them over and over, turn them upside down and backwards to analyze again and again until he fully embraced and knew them by heart. He was desirable. And there was no one or nothing that could intrude on that truth right now.

Ronan is right of course. He's right that the people who might take issue with their being together aren't here to say or do anything about it. It seems so logical and easy without that in the equation. The problem was that saying that they weren't here alleviated some of those concerns but didn't make them disappear.

"I know." Adam nods, looking down at Ronan's hand on his wrist. "I know they aren't here. And I know it shouldn't matter. Logically. They should have nothing to do with you and me." His other hand reaches to uncurl Ronan's fingers from his wrist, not to make him stop holding onto him, but to turn Ronan's hand palm up and slide his own dry, calloused fingertips over Ronan's skin. How often he wanted to reach out and hold this hand, like he felt he would with anyone he liked and was with. But he always talked himself out of it.

"I want to be with you." He needs Ronan to know that. But he also has to be honest about it. "That scares me. It's new. And... what does that make me? Gay? Bisexual? You-sexual? I don't know."

The corners of his lips twitch as he continues to look at Ronan's hand as he touches it, pushing his fingers out straight and then curling them again, touching his palm. "There's a moment when I first wake up in the mornings, if you're still in bed, before my brain fully kicks in, when we're all tangled up and warm and everything feels like it's exactly the way it should be. It's the most content feeling I've ever felt. Happy, I guess. Then eventually my brain always... does what it does. But you... there's happy with you." He smirks. "There's also intense frustration and aggravation with you too, just to be fair. Sometimes you piss me off so much. Sometimes I just want you with me and then everything is okay. Like when you would sleep on my floor at St. Agnes. You just... sometimes you make things that aren't okay, okay."

They can remedy the movies bit. Though, getting Ronan to sit still for a whole movie is a minor miracle. He can occupy Chainsaw and drink while they watch movies. That might settle him enough for a while. And really, what Ronan was afraid of sounding was cliche. In reality that isn't a bad thing. He just doesn't want to voice it.

Oh Ronan is entirely aware that he's using too many words, confessing too many feelings, too many things he'd usually keep buried. Despite that knowledge, he can't stem that flood of words. Right now, he's not entirely sure he wants to. Later he might kick himself for saying everything, depending on how it works out for them. At least Adam is confessing things as well so perhaps it won't be awkward later when whatever is going on wears off. He is incredibly desirable to Ronan, and that much should be obvious from their moment in the snow in addition to the words that Ronan is using.

He doesn't exactly expect the reality of their situation to dismiss all of Adam's concerns. There might even be people in Itinere that will object to their relationship. Ronan doesn't give a flying fuck, but it takes a while to cultivate that sort of attitude and it's something that not everyone does.

Wne Adam first reaches for his hand, Ronan thinks he's going to pry his fingers off his wrist and push him away. There's a moment of panic quickly quelled by the way Adam's fingertips glide over Ronan's skin. He watches their hands, looking up at Adam from beneath his lashes while he speaks.

He nods at Adam's reassurance. It does make him feel better; it makes him feel less frustrated and hopeless, a bit more confident about whatever they've got going on here. He shrugs a little at Adam's question. "I'm in favor of me-sexual," he says in a voice that's a little gruff and lilting with teasing. He's not sure what that makes Adam either and he's not sure if he cares.

"Me too." It's a bare whisper, raw and exposed. His face cracks into a smirk, sharp and amused. "If I didn't piss you off, I'd worry the fuck about your mental stability." He sobers a little then and nods. "Yeah. Okay."

The irony here was that while they may not entirely enjoy or appreciate the words tumbling unbidden and untempered out of there mouths, this was probably exactly what they needed in order to move forward. Not in general. Ronan and Adam could make it through near anything together. They were irrevocably connected through Cabeswater. But as for their relationship, those unspoken secrets riding an electrical undercurrent of emotions beneath everything they did, that could use some help. And that's what this moment was giving them.

Holding hands should be such a simple act. But how often had Adam wanted to hold Ronan's hand and talked himself out of it since they had first kissed. Too many times. So while Adam's fingers brush over Ronan's palm and his other hand cradles Ronan's hand in his palm, Adam watches it rather than look up to Ronan.

"Ronan sexual? It figures we would do everything different from anyone else." There was no such thing as towing a line when it came to Ronan Lynch. There was no such thing as a mold when it came to Ronan Lynch. And that was a part of what Adam liked so much about him. He was an enigma that Adam looked up to and aspired to be like.

Finally, Adam looks up to Ronan, brow arched. "Okay? So where does that leave us?"

Ronan likes to believe that eventually they'd get here anyway. Eventually, Adam would come to the conclusion that he loves Ronan, that he's attracted to him regardless of what that means for his sexuality; no words necessary (he never did like words unless they were in Latin or swear words). However, there's no denying that whatever is going on is speeding up their forward progress.

It should be and yet when is anything ever simple with Ronan? He likes the hard way, likes the challenge. In fact, it feels like this moment is anything but simple, even with the words paving the way. He should not feel like a bolt of lightening is trickling slowly through him with a simple touch to his palm. Ronan swallows hard as that fire crawls through his bones to the very center of his being.

"'Cause I just love swimming with the current," Ronan smirks. He doesn't even look the same as everyone else when he's wearing his Aglionby uniform. Oh, there was a mold. It was called Niall Lynch and Ronan fit it almost perfectly. However it's a mold that most people don't fit into, can't fit into. Declan has tried his entire life and he comes close but not quite. Ronan isn't sure that he's an enigma, but he is different from everyone else.

Ronan shrugs at Adam's question. "Making out on the floor?" he smirks then shakes his head. "Balls in your court, Parrish. You tell me."

It was laughable, thinking of Ronan lynch doing anything as most people would do it. But now he was dragging Adam Parrish along with him in his nonconformity. Or, if not dragging, he was steering him in certain directions that Adam hadn't known were there before. And now that he knew they were there, it was hard not to think about the possibilities. It opened up a whole new slew of emotions for him, for Adam Parrish who had never been one to know what to do with those sorts of emotions.

He had royally fumbled his way through his crush on Blue. And now, here was Ronan... here he had even more emotions than he had ever felt with Blue. And here he had felt as if he were fumbling his way through that as well, until today. The onslaught of their thoughts finding their way into words was certainly helping. Things they would never have said so fully and completely without the assistance of... something.

Today he was saying what needed to be said, holding Ronan's hand as he had so often wanted to do, and now his skin flushed with Ronan's bold comment about making out on the floor. A vision flashed in his mind of his lying back in the snow with Ronan on top of him, kissing, feeling, being wanted and wanting in return. His insides fluttered, unsure how he felt about the ball being in his court.

As it was, he lifted Ronan's hand in his to his lips and just held it there. There was barely even a kiss. He just held it there. Thinking. "You think we're ready for floor make-out?"

Maybe steering Adam along in different directions and on different adventures is part of the point. Adam lived in a very narrow world until he met Gansey and Ronan. Ronan wants to expand that world. He wants Adam to have new experiences and if that introduces him to new emotions, well...Adam is making Ronan cope with new emotions as well. They'll sort through that together.

Maybe Ronan is more tolerant of fumbling. He's certainly more tolerant of any angry outbursts that Adam might have. That's true enough. Ronan would never use this many words and he knows Adam wouldn't either.

Today Ronan was grateful for those words, for the way Adam is holding his hand and for the way Ronan's words make Adam flush. That had absolutely been Ronan's intention, recalling that vision in Adam's head. God knows Ronan's head is full of it. It has been since the moment they pulled away from each other.

Ronan watched Adam with that peculiar intensity, everything inside of him twisting and catching fire when Adam's lips rested against his hand. He swallowed hard, breath caught in his chest. "Fuck yeah. That the right answer?"

Under that particularly intense gaze from Ronan coupled with the tenor of their conversation, Adam is left with anxiousness flooding every inch of his insides. Everything he wanted flashed through his mind like seeing too many channels all at once and being unable to completely process what he was actually seeing. He had to make himself pause, slow everything down.

The ball was in his court.

He shifted up to his knees and moved closer to Ronan. His movements were deliberate but slow and gentle because that was who and what Adam Parrish was when it came to this sort of thing. Up on his knees, he towered over Ronan where he sat, his fingertips slid down his jawline to his chin to guide that chin up so that Ronan was looking up at him. The smile wasn't on his lips, but it was in his eyes as he stared down at Ronan for a minute.

"I guess that's the right answer. I'm gonna kiss you now, okay?" There was a start-stop to his movement as he started to dip his head, but then in one quick move his lips crashed into Ronan's and he kissed him. He kissed him (for the moment) without worrying about what people might think or what this meant about his sexuality or whether he was as good at kissing as Ronan was. He just kissed him, open-mouthed, sloppy, sweet and inviting.

Anxiety hadn't been Ronan's intended reaction. He couldn't help the intensity of his gaze, not in that moment. He could avoid looking at Adam, but he was fairly sure that would send the wrong message entirely. He wanted to do this right, wanted to make certain that his every move was the right one so that he didn't mess this up. That was all he'd been trying to do since before they'd come here.

The ball was in his court and if Adam wanted to take things more slowly then they'd take things more slowly. Ronan wouldn't push nor would he give up on Adam. He'd simply wait until Adam knew what to do with that ball.

Ronan's breath caught when Adam moved to his knees. He swallowed hard, his entire body trembling as he let Adam take the lead in this. He exhaled in a rush when Adam tilted his chin up so that he looked at him. He'd watched Adam's face enough to see that smile in his eyes and it made him relax ever so slightly.

"Okay," Ronan breathed, temporarily thrown off by taking the submissive role, by letting Adam have the lead here. It wasn't a position he was accustomed to being in. He couldn't say he didn't like it; In fact, it was particularly appealing because this was a role he didn't normally take. It was exciting and then Adam's lips were on his and every other thought in Ronan's head fled. All he cared about was kissing Adam in return and being kissed by him. He returned the kiss with equal vigor, shifting up into the kiss to make it deeper, but consciously lnot taking the lead back from Adam. He wanted to let Adam be the dominant one for a little while; he'd be the submissive one for a little while.

As Ronan shifted up to get closer to him, to make the kiss a two-way street, Adam felt his heart race and he came in closer as well. One leg moved over Ronan's thighs so that he was straddling his lap. Both hands rested feather light at either side of Ronan's face as they kissed. And Ronan let him do this, he knew that all too well. This was not a roll Adam would normally take, although he liked being here in Ronan's lap like this well enough.

It was empowering in a way he never would have presumed it would be. Kissing Ronan with this sort of freedom to do so was empowering.

When he needed to breathe, his head was still dipped, hands barely holding Ronan's head in place. Their brows pressed together and Adam nipped at Ronan's lips again. "Is there ever a time when I shouldn't kiss you? Or hold your hand? Or... whatever."

Ronan groans into the kiss, his fingers seeking out Adam's hipbones, slipping up under the hem of Adam's shirt. He presses his fingertips against Adam's skin, pulling his hips into him, closer so that there's little to no space between them.

Though it isn't something Ronan does consciously in this moment, he wants to give Adam more confidence, more power. It's in everything that he does, including this moment.

The way Adam nips at his lips, the way he stays close and doesn't pull away, it makes Ronan breathless in a way that he's only experienced when driving a car too fast or when splitting a man's lips under his knuckles. His closed eyes snap open and he smirks, shaking his head ever so slightly, but not enough to break the contact between them. "Fuck no. Long as it's something you want to do, go for it."

That breathlessness is mutual. Adam and Ronan's breath co-mingling and heavy. Ronan's answer forces a flutter in his chest and Adam can't help the impression of a smile on his lips. He pushes that smile away and kisses Ronan again, slow and sweet.

"Anything I want, huh?" He asks, his voice tempered with amusement. "Just to be clear."

Ronan doesn't have a lot of experience with slow and sweet. It's something that Adam will have to teach him, to coax out of him, but this is a good start. It makes everything in him go warm and uncertain.

"Any fucking thing you fucking want," Ronan responds, amusement tugging at the corners of his mouth and in his eyes. "That clear enough?"

He can't say why he doesn't kiss Ronan just then. Their lips are so close, the flirtation is ratcheted up beyond ridiculousness, the want between them is palpable. And still Adam keeps that slight distance, close enough to feel Ronan's breath against his lips, too far away to actually do anything about it.

Any fucking thing he fucking wants. Yes. That was clear. So what did Adam want? He was like a starving man at an all you can eat buffet. He'd been without for forever that now that he had all of this, he had problems picking where to start.

"So I can do this?" Reaching down, his fingers tickled at Ronan's sides. It might seem like he was just tickling him, but soon his fingers touched bare skin to show that he was inching his tee shirt up and up and up. Then he fisted it and pulled it up and off if Ronan would let him.

Because sometimes anticipation makes everything better, because this sort of want and intensity is new, because this makes a person feel alive all the way to their bones. Right now, Ronan feels like he's going to burn up from the want, explode with need. His heart is racing in his chest and his breathing is coming in tight, heavy breaths.

At least it's clear, and Ronan is willing to let Adam experiment, to be patient and let Adam figure out what he wants. Really, it's a win-win for both of them.

A grin tugs at the corners of his mouth when Adam's fingers tickle at his side, his eyebrows raise and it's on the tip of his tongue to say 'a tickle war, that's what you want' when his fingers touch Ronan's bare skin and Ronan's breath catches. He bites off a growl, but not soon enough. Adam almost definitely hears it. "God damn, yes please, Ronan responds, words strangled and strained as he lets Adam pull his shirt up and over his head. Every muscle in his body is tense with want, with controlling himself, to keep himself from grabbing control from Adam and kissing him. Instead of doing any of those things, he's very still, letting Adam touch or look, or do whatever the fuck he wants to him.

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adamparrish - 2015-02-23 23:05 (UTC) - Expand

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