itinere | [ota] sing, sing a song

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{criminal minds: derek morgan

[ota] sing, sing a song

It's taken a lot of Katniss' self-control not to question the Brig when the message appears on her phone. The reminder of the cost is what keeps her quiet. She had lost a lot by questioning authority in Panem. President Snow had hurt Peeta because of her rebellious ways. Prim had died because President Coin hadn't agreed with Katniss' attitude. Or nearly died, as the case may seem in the world that Prim now remembers. It doesn't matter. The cost had still been great regardless.

Questioning one of the people who appear to be in charge of matters in Itinere over anything seems to be a dangerous prospect. Questioning the validity of a gift seems like an even more dangerous prospect even if the woman seems to be so nonchalant about whether or not they keep the gift.

Still, Katniss doesn't trust the Brig. She doesn't trust anyone claiming to do something in her best interest. Despite the rain, she had been out hunting and wandering as normal. But the message gets her to hurry home in order to see what this gift is. The sight of a gold ball seems innocuous enough at first. What kind of harm can there be in a gold ball? Then she notices Prim idly playing with hers from across the room. The last time she had seen her sister with any kind of so-called gift (that one also golden in color), it had exploded. All of the parachutes had exploded, taking the lives of the children and medics trying to help them. Taking Prim's life.

Katniss doesn't hesitate. She picks up her own ball and locks the door to her bedroom. If something does go wrong, she doesn't want Prim to see. But when she opens it, there's nothing but music. The song is simple enough and before she realizes what she's doing, Katniss starts to sing along.

Why should something like a little rain effect such a good mood? The rain is a good thing. It provides sustenance to the trees in the forest that Katniss has learned to love so much. It provides sustenance to all living creatures. Her hair is down and soaked with rain. Her clothes are plastered to her body. She doesn't care. There's a light in her grey eyes that hadn't been there since she was a child and a smile on her face that's normally out of place. Most of all, she's singing. It starts with the song played by the sphere and just continues. She hasn't sung this much in over a year, since her imprisonment during her trial.

This time though, Katniss sings out of nothing but pure joy.

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It's been three years for Prim since that day, the day when the explosions had changed her world. A part of her had still hung onto that memory, warning her not to touch the golden ball. What if it exploded, too? What if it had something else in it? What if- what if- what-

But she had noticed Katniss take hers into her room and a part of her wanted to see what her own would have. Could she open it? Was it meant to be opened? At least, Prim figured she could look into it in the garden by the walkway, where the grass would hide whatever would happen and she wouldn't risk blowing up the whole house. Hopefully just one wouldn't have that powerful a blast.

But when she opens hers, she finds nothing but song and by the time Katniss is out there in the rain, so is Prim. With Katniss singing, Prim dances her way to her sister, reaching her arms out as though to pull Katniss into the dance with her.

"Come on, Katniss! Dance with me!"

Derek almost doesn't recognize her. Mostly, this is because he's never seen Katniss smile like that. Derek is generally a good-natured person anyway. He's generally a happy guy on the outside where everyone can see. However, even for him there's an extra brightness that isn't always there. The golden ball he'd opened is in his pocket. He probably shouldn't have opened it. Something deep down had told him not to... and yet.

The rain is pouring heavily and it doesn't seem to matter all that much as he smiles brightly at Katniss once he realizes it's her. "Hey, Kat -- niss." He stops himself just short of using a nickname like Kat, remembering that she wasn't too fond of the nicknames he's prone to giving basically everyone.

He sings along with her, takes a hand and twirls her around.

There are so many what ifs in this world. So many ways life could have turned out differently than it had. Golden gifts don't have to lead to explosions. Sisters don't have to live their lives alone. What if Katniss had been more subservient to President Coin? What if she had gotten to the mansion just a little bit earlier? What if Peeta hadn't stopped her from taking that nightlock pill?

Some of those what-ifs had been answered. Some remain a mystery. The sisters have now lived different lives the day the parachutes exploded. The golden orb doesn't explode. Instead, it somehow makes Katniss feel as if she's walking on air. She can't remember the last time she's felt this light, this free. There's nothing to worry about. Not now, not anymore. She doesn't even stop to think what effect the orb might have Prim. Singing defines her now. And it seems almost natural that Prim join in.

Were it cold, were they indoors, they could almost be reliving a memory. How many winters had they spent singing and dancing to pass the dark of the night? She doesn't even hesitate to pull Prim in when her sister shouts out to her. Katniss laughs, starting up a happy romp from their childhood. She starts to sing a song to go with. "Cone on, Prim! Sing!"

It's no surprise that Matt didn't see the golden ball left for him. He's accidentally bumped the end table it had been on and sent it rolling off onto the floor. It had gone under the couch and he'd started to move the couch, but realized he was going to be late meeting Katniss. Today they're going dinner at the Houndstooth. There are pool tables there and he plans on teaching her to play. The rain doesn't stop him. He simply grabs an umbrella and walks toward her house. He knocks on the door.

Recently, she's been smiling more often than she has in her entirety in Itinere. She has reason to. Prim's back. She has Matt. Life is surprisingly good right now. But even then, it isn't worth this level of glee. This kind of happiness is unique, like nothing she's ever felt before in her life. Because of that, Katniss hasn't questioned it. She's simply gone along with the feeling, singing her joy aloud.

That he doesn't abbreviate her name is appreciated. That he had helped to protect Prim when everything had taken a turn for the worse is a debt she'll never be able to repay. And that Derek greets her with kindness when all she's really ever done is be standoffish to him doesn't go unnoticed.

Katniss takes Derek's hand, letting him twirl her around. "Like this," she insists a second or two later, showing him the first steps of one of District 12's easier dances. "It's how we dance back home."

If he had a nickel for every time he's wanted to call her Kitty Kat. Well, let's just say that he can take a hint when his brand of friendship isn't wanted. And, he can adjust accordingly to make friendship happen anyway. Derek is adaptable like that. Not everyone in the world can be Penelope Garcia or Spencer Reid, both whom take Derek being Derek in stride.

And he definitely doesn't hold Katniss's prior standoffish nature against her. From everything Prim has told him, their entire world doesn't lend itself to anything but that.

He easily lets her lead him through some scripted dance moves, almost stepping on her feet but not quite, until he gets it down and starts to move. Derek has always loved to dance. He loves clubs and getting lost in the music, letting it take you over. Here and now, there is no music. But there's just an intense happiness and joy that can't be ignored.

He cants his head back and laughs, still going through the dance steps. "I've never done dancing like this."

It's not that Katniss doesn't put effort into the way she looks whenever she spends time with Matt. She always makes sure that her clothes are clean and her hair is either neatly braided or brushed. Mostly, it's that Katniss never puts this much effort in the way that she looks. She actually takes the time to dry her hair after spending most of the afternoon singing and dancing in the rain. She purposely picks out a dress that she almost might be willing to say looks nice on her. And her shoes, although serviceable, are almost fashionable enough that Effie might actually approve. None of what she wears is anything like Cinna's creations but she wants to think they do something to transform her from the normally scowly Katniss Everdeen Matt's come to know.

She had made certain to let Prim know that she was going out for the night. Even in this happiness high, promises made to her sister are promises kept. Never leaving without letting the other know where they're going. It isn't all that hard to do. Matt knocks and Katniss opens the door. The smile that had been present on her face all day brightens even more and without any awkwardness or hesitation on her part, she wraps her arms around his neck and tilts her head up to kiss him.

Give her time. It's taken a year but she's finally come to terms with the face that she can't live a life without other people in it. People aren't meant to live a life adrift from others. Losing Prim, however briefly, had reinforced that idea. Matt's presence and influence in her life helped just as much. She's finally ready to small steps towards getting to know others. That pain caused by too many deaths, caused by Peeta's hijacking and Gale's betrayal, is finally starting to subside. So long as it's not Catnip, maybe a nickname wouldn't be so bad.

So far, Katniss has yet to meet someone who comes from a country as harsh as Panem had been. She envies them in a way. At the same time, holding on to a degree of that caution and cynicism might serve her better in Itinere - especially when those in charge pull these small games. At least that's what she tells herself even if it's clearly not always true.

As Derek catches on to the steps she shows him, Katniss claps her hands and tries to pick up pace. They might not have music surrounding them right now but Katniss does her best to fill in the silence with song. Her father had taught her so many of District 12's songs and she knows them all by heart.

"Despite everything, that's one thing the Capitol never managed to suppress. We dance and we're transformed," she answers, pausing her song. "How do you dance?"

Those what ifs don’t matter at all right now to Prim. All she cares about is singing and dancing with her sister. It’s like the Odair wedding all over again, just like all those years at home in District Twelve. Something feels so right about dancing in the rain with Katniss that Prim can’t help laughing before she joins in the singing.

Shrieking with laughter, she eventually pulls away and skirts out of her sister’s reach. Not enough to be in any danger or to be that far away, but far enough that she might incite a game of chase. Her mischievous grin might also give her away on that count.

Everyone has their own battles. Derek knows that all too well. From what he's heard of it, which is quite a bit from Prim, Panem is not a place he ever wants to exist in. On the flip side, his own life hasn't been a walk in the park either. He's pretty sure no place is perfect, no life, no mile walked in anyone's shoes. What he can completely empathize with, is a hesitancy to trust. They might have different reasons for that, but he and Katniss both have trust issues.

Derek's ability to be friendly with just about anyone, unless they give him a reason to be otherwise, has very little to do with trust. It's just in Derek's nature. As well as a defense mechanism in some ways.

As Katniss starts to sing though, Derek finds the beat and continues the steps in that way. Katniss's voice is simple and pretty. It's pure. Derek likes that. "Hey, you sing pretty well." He tells her.

Then she asks about how he dances and he chuckles again and shakes his head. "Nothing like this. It's... more free-form, I guess. You just feel the music, inside and out, and move your body to the beat of it. Music... it's the language that speaks to everyone, right?"

It is like the Odair wedding all over again. Except this time, no one's watching. They're free to celebrate however they wish, without fear of recourse or judgement. There's also nothing in particular to celebrate. They can just sing and dance and be happy to be alive. How long has it been since they were able to do that? Since they felt carefree enough to do so?

Katniss starts to laugh as soon as Prim does. It's so much nicer than crying. Why should they ever cry again when they can laugh and feel this good about life? The mischievous grin doesn't go unnoticed and Katniss doesn't hesitate to run after Prim. She'll always follow her sister wherever she may lead.

That is something that Katniss can understand. Though it might be easy to think so, the victors of the Hunger Games perhaps had it worse than those who had died in the arena. For all they were supposed to represent the Capitol's kindness and forgiveness, granted hefty stipends and beautiful houses in which to live, they were slaves to President Snow's every whim. Finnick Odair's life might have looked ideal on the outside but it had been anything but. No one has it perfect or easy. Katniss will never ask Derek what his story is. She'll also never blame him for being slow to trust.

Her cheeks color a little in response to the compliment, though it's a response that could just as easily be written off by exertion from dance. It's been a while since someone's complimented her on her voice. It's been a while since she's actually taken the time to sing in front of anyone. "Thanks."

She nods in agreement to his question. It sounds a lot like something her father would say. He had love song, loved music. Had a voice that would silence even the mockingjays in the woods when he sang. But she's feeling too happy to mourn her father right now. Instead, she silently thanks him for giving her this gift. "I'd like to see."

Matt is absolutely okay with how Katniss looks anytime she spends time with him. However, it's a shame that he can't see the way she looks right now, that he can't see she put in extra effort. He can hear the swish of her skirt and knows that she's wearing a dress, something he doesn't think that he's ever seen her wear. He can hear the tap of of her shoes and know she's wearing something special. He's wearing the same sort of thing that he always wears: a pair of black slacks and a dark tee shirt. It's too warm for a suit.

And Matt might not be able to see the smile on Katniss' face, but he can sense it. He's taken aback a little the way that she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. It's not a bad thing at all and he kisses her in return. It's simply an usual thing.

"You're in a good mood," he tells her with a smile.

It doesn't matter if he can't see what she's wearing. All Matt has to do is ask and Katniss will describe the details to him. Now that she knows his secret though, she suspects that he can figure out a number of the details himself. The colors might elude him, but he can feel the way her hair hangs loose as she kisses him. He can feel the material of the dress (soft cotton) and probably pick up on the way it swishes around her legs. The sound of her shoes against the floor probably sounds different, too. She wants Matt to feel special and this is one of the few ways she can think of.

That he's taken aback at first doesn't keep Katniss from kissing him. Especially when he starts to kiss her back. Clearly, he doesn't mind the way she's acting, however unusual it might be. Probably a good thing, given that she doesn't move away after the kiss breaks. His body is warm and strong against hers and she's okay with standing there a little longer.

"I am," she answers easily. "I have been most of the day. I think I've sung more today than I have in a long time. And danced."

He notices that flush just because it's Derek's job to notice things even if he's only guessing at what it could imply for the other person. That's what profilers do, they make guesses based on basic human reaction and hope they're right. While Derek tries not to apply that to every day life for the simple fact that he doesn't much appreciate it when people profile him, sometimes he can't help it and it slips in here and there.

"You're welcome. Did you sing a lot in Panem?" He's just curious if a talent like that would be utilized and cultivated or even recognized in a place like the one where Prim and Katniss come from.

She wants to see how most people dance from his world and Derek laughs a bit. He might have said no, but he's in a particularly ecstatic kind of mood, so he's more willing to comply without the use of music with a heavy beat and a throng of anonymous bodies to get lost in. "Okay, okay. Uhhhh... I should've brought my iPod. Lemme think of a song. Uhm." Finally, he gets one in his mind and starts moving to the beat of it just as he would if he were in the right atmosphere for it. Derek is a pretty good dancer. It's just probably unlike anything Katniss has ever seen. "See? You just move to the beat. Let your body take over with no rules or restrictions or anything but what it makes you feel."

Eventually, he'll realize that, but he's not comfortable enough with her to ask that sort of thing yet. Maybe at some point in the night he'll ask. He can figure out details for himself and he will as the night goes on. He'll trace the lines of the dress, rub the fabric between his fingers and his fingers through her hair. He'll be able to taste any sort of lip gloss or balm that she put on and smell any perfume or soap she might have used. He'll know a lot of things and he does feel special because she's dressed up for him.

He absolutely doesn't mind when she kisses him this way. If she decided to greet him every time this way he would be okay with it. He only thinks it unusual because she doesn't usually doesn't. He slides his hand down her back, tugging her just a little bit closer.

Her answer makes him smile. "Good. You should definitely spend more time doing that." He tilts his head, listening a moment before he speaks again. "Ready to go?"

"Catch me if you can!" Prim calls, dashing out of the bushes and across whatever property lines exist here. Not that those have ever mattered to people like them. Only in the Victor's Village and then only because they were so separated from everyone else. Here it just doesn't matter. Nothing seems to except their happiness.

It's been a long time in coming and they deserve it.

If Katniss follows, Prim will turn it into a brief run, just down the street because she's not ready for a long run. She hopes her sister will follow her. They could use some time out of the house and somewhere new.

Steps. It seems that that's what their entire relationship has been. Taking steps to make this into something different than what they've both experienced in the past. Taking steps to open up, to let someone in without fearing that all they'll do is hurt the other. Taking steps to learn to be happy and not guilty. Being comfortable enough to ask favors of each other can be another step. This kind of process has served well for them so far.

Her lip gloss tastes like blackberries, only because she had a hard time finding something unscented when she went looking. But her soap is plain and she's never worn perfume. Scented soaps cost more in District 12. Her change in fortune never changed the habit; one less way for the animals she hunts to detect her. Other men might like the scents of nice soaps but she doesn't think Matt would be one of them given his heightened senses. So she keeps refraining.

It's something that she might consider. Katniss likes kissing him. She likes kissing him a lot. If they really are dating, if they really are forming a relationship, where's the harm in kissing him like that every time they greet? Especially if he continues to pull her close in return.

She reaches a hand up to trace the smile on his lips, taking one of his from her back so he can feel her own smile. "We can dance tonight. Along with whatever else you have planned. I'm ready."

Aside from Derek's career, Katniss tends to be very easy to read. It seems that most people around her know how she feels before she ever figures it out herself. To some degree, she's used to it. She had all of Panem watching her at one point. Those that knew her particularly well could tell even what she hid from herself. Based on her reaction, Derek might be able to pick up on her self-conscious nature. That she doesn't think highly of herself, or think that she's very deserving of praise.

She shakes her head at his question. It's the easiest response. She'd sing to Prim a lot when her sister was younger. She'd sing to herself at times. When life was easier, before the Hunger Games, she'd sing a lot. But she'd never sing for the public of Panem. Plutarch had once suggested she star in such a show. It's not an option to her at all.

When he laughs, Katniss tilts her head curiously. The rain falls around them but she waits patiently until something comes to mind. The lyrics aren't like any she's heard of and the dance is unlike anything she's ever seen. But he moves easily, more easily than he had while she had led them in one of her dances. She smiles and even laughs a little in delight. Fair is fair though and after a few more seconds of watching, she starts to join in on the dance. "It's not that hard."

No, property lines had meant nothing to them growing up. You didn't trespass inside other people's houses but they were all so crammed together in the Seam that you constantly crossed property lines. Here, people aren't so crammed together. But no one seems to care if they cross into their property. People are kind and friendly and finally, Katniss has learned not to be so suspicious of it. Especially today.

She runs after Prim without hesitation. Replying doesn't seem to have much of a point. If she does, she's just wasting her breath. She'd rather save her breath to be able to catch up to her sister. Which she does, rather quickly, laughing as she reaches out to pull her sister into a hug.

That's what any relationship is, Matt thinks. Even a friendship is a series of steps. A romantic relationship has even more, or maybe they're just different steps. In any case, he's glad that they've taken the time to go through this process, that they're going through it together.

Matt prefers unscented soap. It's the kind he uses because too many scents, too strong and they can be overwhelming. Most people have no idea what they smell like on a daily basis to him. Light scents are okay and preferably kept to one scent rather a potpourri of scents all muddled together. Though, he wouldn't say anything to her if she did wear scented lotions and soaps.

He doesn't object in the least. It's simply different for her so he takes notice of it. Unless he realizes what's happened to her, he will probably greet her this way next time, assuming that she's okay with it. He releases her, hand going to the small of her back. "I'll take you up on that." He's going to change their plans slightly if she's up for dancing. He'll take her out to dinner and then they'll find a small club they can dance at.

Since he's told her about his abilities, she's been trying to keep from overburdening his senses. With soaps, any fragrance in general, it's easy. She'll never be like Effie, like any of those girls from the Capitol or District 1, where they prefer a potpourri of scents. A good hunter blends into her surroundings and for her own survival, and her own sanity, she needs to be a good hunter. But she's starting to pay more attention to the clothes that she wears and the roughness of the fabric. Small kindnesses often go a long way.

Even if Matt does realize what's going on, Katniss would be okay with him still greeting her like this from here on out. His kisses excite her, yes, but they also make her feel safe and wanted. It's a good way to start a date. To start anything really. Katniss closes the door behind her, wrapping an arm around Matt's waist to stay close to him as they walk. He doesn't have to change his plans; Katniss is more than happy to do whatever he has in mind. She holds an umbrella over them both with her free hand. "Good."

They start to walk, and when she suddenly ditches the umbrella. What she's feeling, how drunk she is on life and giddiness right now, she can't quite describe. It's still infectious though. Very infectious. And it's making her more impulsive than usual. She takes one hand in hers and rests the other on his upper arm, then begins to lead him in a slow dance. "Why wait?" she asks before she starts to quietly sing, knowing he can hear her over the rain anyway.

Edited (html is hard man ;;) 2016-09-20 23:25 (UTC)

As her sister catches up to her, Prim leans into the hug, holding tightly even as she grins and laughs with delight. Why haven't they done this before? Any worries or fears they had previously just seem ridiculous now. There's nothing to worry about.

Pulling back, Prim takes Katniss' hands, still grinning. "Can we go have something really sweet? They might not have the funnel cake out now, but maybe ice cream or something?"

Katniss hugs Prim tightly, as if she never intends to let go of her sister. In a way, she doesn't. She never wants to lose her sister again. Never wants to live a life without Prim in it. There's more to the world, more to life than just a sisterly bond, and Katniss knows it. It's why she's slowly starting to reach out and make friends. It's why she has Matt. But she always wants her sister to play a big role in her life.

"Ice cream?" Katniss suggests, tugging her sister in the direction of the parlor she already has in mind. "There's a really good place I went to earlier in the summer."

Prim’s grin returns at the suggestion. Ice cream. It’s perfect. It’s exactly what would make them both happy. Just sweet enough without being too sweet.

“That’s perfect,” she breathes. “Where is it?”

She hasn’t had ice cream in so long. It’ll just make their day so much better.

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[ota] sing, sing a song

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